Scrooging: The Surprising Trend of Breaking Up Before the Holidays

Breakups before the holidays are increasingly referred to as “Scrooging,” a term inspired by the famously stingy character Scrooge—be it the cartoon Scrooge McDuck or Charles Dickens’s Ebenezer Scrooge. The core idea behind “Scrooging” is that people choose to end relationships just so they won’t have to spend money on gifts or deal with extra holiday expenses.

What Is “Scrooging”?

“Scrooging” happens when, shortly before New Year’s or other festive occasions, one partner suddenly decides to break up to avoid gift-giving or other financial obligations. Although this most often occurs in December, it can happen before any holiday—birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Women’s Day, you name it. Reasons range from simple stinginess and refusal to spend money to genuine financial difficulties. However, in many cases, it looks like a manipulative tactic for dodging expenses.

When to Use the Term “Scrooging”

Use the term carefully. If someone truly is struggling financially or is facing excessive demands from their partner, that situation isn’t necessarily “Scrooging.” The term is appropriate when you notice that your partner is dodging any spending on you or outright leaves the relationship right before a holiday.

Examples of “Scrooging”

1. Breaking up right before a holiday

“He dumped her right before New Year’s just so he wouldn’t have to buy a gift—classic Scrooging.”

2. Accusations over spending

“How can you criticize someone for buying potatoes just a bit more expensive? That’s total Scrooging.”

3. Manipulation and play-acting

“She pretends to be broke so she doesn’t have to pay for gifts, then breaks up right before any celebration. A real Scrooge move!”

Why “Scrooging” Is Becoming More Common

1. Holiday Spending Pressure

Festive seasons can be expensive, and not everyone is ready or able to shoulder the costs. When budgets are tight, some find it simpler to leave the relationship than to talk it out.

2. Emotional Immaturity

Some individuals use a breakup to avoid serious conversations and responsibilities. As New Year’s or other special days approach, the fear of “obligations” grows stronger.

3. Social Pressure

People often emphasize who bought what gift, how much was spent, and how the occasion was celebrated. The worry of not “measuring up” financially can trigger rash decisions—like ending a relationship.

4. Year-End Relationship Rethink

December is a time for introspection and reassessment. Someone unsure about the future of a relationship may see an upcoming holiday as a convenient exit.

How to Recognize “Scrooging”

• Sudden Shift in Behavior: Your partner stops discussing holiday plans and avoids talking about the future.

• Irritability Over Gift Talk: Bringing up expenses for gifts sparks annoyance or avoidance.

• Abrupt Breakup: It happens without a clear explanation or with a flimsy excuse.

Dealing with “Scrooging”

1. Talk It Out

Sometimes people genuinely worry about holiday spending. If trust exists, you can agree on symbolic gifts or find budget-friendly solutions.

2. Don’t Blame Yourself

If your partner resorts to “Scrooging,” it reflects how they handle finances and relationships, not your personal worth.

3. Work on the Relationship

If you want to stay together, learn to communicate openly about money, expectations, and feelings.

Preventing “Scrooging” in the Future

• Discuss Holiday Attitudes Early On

Discover how your partner feels about gift-giving, celebrations, and mutual expenses to avoid misunderstandings.

• Build Emotional Closeness

The deeper the mutual trust, the less likely you’ll face a holiday breakup.

• Reduce Pressure

Gifts aren’t the only way to show love. Talk about what gestures and gifting approaches work for both of you.

“Scrooging” as a Signal About Your Relationship

If someone walks away solely to avoid holiday spending, it’s a clear sign of their priorities and how they regard you. Long-term, strong relationships require willingness to compromise, mutual understanding, and care for one another. The New Year or any other holiday isn’t about lavish spending—it’s about warmth and thoughtfulness. If your partner is ready to compromise your feelings to save some money, it may be time to question whether this is the right relationship for you.

Have you ever encountered “Scrooging”? Share your experiences in SMM—your story might help someone else avoid unnecessary heartache.

How to Handle Scrooging in a Relationship

1. Acknowledge the Behavior:

If your partner suddenly wants to break things off or distances themselves before a holiday, recognize that this might be a case of Scrooging. Understanding it for what it is will help you respond in a calm, clear-headed way.

2. Communicate Openly:

• Ask Direct Questions: Instead of guessing, invite your partner to have an honest conversation about their feelings regarding gift-giving or holiday expenses.

• Share Your Perspective: Explain why the sudden change in their behavior or a potential breakup right before a holiday hurts you. Sometimes open dialogue alone can resolve misunderstandings.

3. Propose Budget-Friendly Solutions:

• Suggest Alternatives: If finances are an issue, propose smaller, more personal gifts or experiences, like a homemade card, a handwritten letter, or a simple but meaningful outing.

• Talk About Priorities: Remind each other that the holiday is not just about material presents but also about shared moments, gratitude, and emotional closeness.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries:

• Self-Respect is Key: If your partner consistently refuses to discuss finances or tries to manipulate you into feeling guilty for wanting to celebrate, recognize that this could be a red flag.

• Decide What You’re Willing to Tolerate: If Scrooging becomes a pattern and your partner repeatedly uses money or holiday pressures as an excuse to bail, ask yourself if these are the qualities you want in a long-term relationship.

5. Seek Emotional Support:

• Talk to Friends or Family: Sometimes a supportive network can give you the clarity and strength you need.

• Consider Professional Advice: A counselor or therapist can offer strategies for handling relationship issues, including financial or communication problems.

6. Don’t Internalize the Blame:

• It’s Their Decision, Not Your Failure: If your partner opts to break up rather than discuss the issue, that’s their choice and reflects their inability to handle conflicts maturely—not your worthiness as a partner.

• Focus on Self-Care: Indulge in activities that make you feel loved and valued—whether it’s spending time with close friends, pursuing a hobby, or just taking time for yourself.

7. Plan Ahead for Future Holidays:

• Establish Expectations Early: If you decide to stay with this person, clarify how you both want to handle gift-giving and holiday budgets well before the celebration.

• Build a Partnership Approach: Healthy relationships thrive on teamwork. Work together to set a shared budget, plan meaningful experiences, and keep communication honest.

Remember: A genuine relationship involves mutual respect, understanding, and support—especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays. If your partner can’t meet you halfway, it may be worth considering whether the relationship truly meets your needs.