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Stop Obsessing Over Someone Today: Find Freedom, Feel Better, and Love Yourself

Stop Obsessing Over Someone Today: Find Freedom, Feel Better, and Love Yourself

Irina Zhuravleva
by 
Irina Zhuravleva, 
 Soulmatcher
5 minutes read
Psychology
08 January, 2025

We’ve all been there, caught in the whirlwind of obsessing over someone, be it an unrequited crush or a past relationship. It’s like having a song stuck in your head, playing on loop, and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t stop thinking about it. This obsession can be all-consuming, leaving you feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. But fear not, for there are ways to stop obsessing and reclaim your peace of mind.

Understand the Root of Obsession

First things first, let’s get to the heart of the matter. Why do we obsess over someone? Often, it stems from low self-esteem and the desperate need to feel loved and validated. Our minds, in their infinite wisdom, convince us that this person holds the key to our happiness. But here’s the kicker—no one person can fill that void. Love, true love, starts from within.

Stop Obsessing and Start Living

  1. Recognize Your Worth: It’s essential to know that you are worthy of love. Self-esteem plays a pivotal role here. When we feel unworthy, we latch onto someone, hoping they’ll fill the gaps. But the truth is, you are enough, just as you are.
  2. Identify What You Sacrifice: In the throes of obsession, we often give up parts of ourselves to please the other person. It’s time to reclaim those lost pieces. Remember, love should never require you to lose yourself. Consider what you’ve set aside for this obsession—your interests, your hobbies, even your friendships. It’s time to bring those back into focus.
  3. Lean on Your Support System: Friends and family can offer a fresh perspective. They can help you see the situation clearly, without the fog of obsession clouding your judgment. Sometimes, we need someone to remind us of our worth and help us see the bigger picture. So, don’t hesitate to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings with those who care about you.
  4. Reconnect with Your Passions: When was the last time you pursued your interests? Obsession often sidelines our passions. Rediscover what makes your heart sing and dive back into those activities. Whether it’s painting, hiking, or playing music, immersing yourself in what you love can be incredibly healing.
  5. Get Clear on Their Role: Ask yourself what this person truly represents to you. Is it security, validation, or something else? Often, we project our needs onto someone, thinking they can fulfill them all. But no single person can be everything to us. Recognizing this can help in reducing the power of the obsession.
  6. Go No-Contact: This might be tough, but sometimes, the best way to stop thinking about someone is to cut off all contact. It’s like ripping off a band-aid—painful at first, but ultimately healing. Resist the urge to check their social media or send that late-night text. The distance will help clear your mind.

The Role of Social Media

Social media can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it keeps us connected, but on the other, it can fuel our obsession. Constantly checking someone’s profile keeps them at the forefront of your mind. Consider a digital detox—unfollow, unfriend, and mute as needed. Social media should be a tool for connection, not a catalyst for obsession.

Journaling Your Thoughts and Feelings

Writing can be a therapeutic outlet. Pour your thoughts and feelings onto paper. It’s a safe space to explore your emotions without judgment. Plus, it helps in reducing the intensity of obsessive thoughts. Journaling can also provide clarity, helping you understand your emotions and the source of your obsession.

Take an Inventory of Their Flaws

No one is perfect, not even the person you’re obsessing over. Make a list of their less desirable qualities to bring them back down to earth. This isn’t about tearing someone down but rather seeing them as a whole person, not an idealized version. It’s a reality check that helps you stop thinking about them as flawless.

Seek Professional Help

If you find your obsession overwhelming, consider speaking with a mental health professional. They can provide tools and strategies to manage obsessive thoughts and improve your self-esteem. Therapy can also help you uncover the root causes of your obsession and guide you toward healthier relationship patterns.

Embrace Authentic Connections

Ultimately, the goal is to find love that is safe and genuine. It’s easy to fall back into the cycle of obsession, but remember, true love doesn’t leave you feeling anxious or incomplete. It uplifts and supports you. Seek connections that make you feel valued and understood, where you can be your authentic self.

SoulMatcher: Your Partner in Finding Meaningful Connections

In your journey to stop obsessing and find real love, consider using SoulMatcher. This app is designed to help you connect with like-minded individuals seeking authentic relationships. With SoulMatcher, you’re not just finding love; you’re discovering a community that values connection and understanding.

So, as the saying goes, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Diversify your emotional investments, and you’ll find that life has so much more to offer beyond the confines of obsession. Embrace the journey, and let SoulMatcher guide you to the love you deserve.