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How to Stop Hurting from Breakup and Start Healing

How to Stop Hurting from Breakup and Start Healing

Irina Zhuravleva
por 
Irina Zhuravleva, 
 Matador de almas
7 minutos de leitura
Psicologia
Maio 19, 2025

A breakup can feel like the end of the world. The pain, the confusion, and the sudden change in your daily life can leave you feeling lost. Whether it was a mutual decision or a sudden end, the emotional wounds can be deep. Many people struggle with hurting for months or even years after a breakup, not knowing how to truly move on.

This guide is here to help. If you’re wondering how to stop hurting from breakup and find peace again, you’re in the right place. With time, the right mindset, and a few practical steps, it’s absolutely possible to get over a breakup and rebuild your life.

Accept the Reality of the Breakup

The first and most important step in healing is accepting that the relationship is over. Denial keeps you stuck in the past, replaying what went wrong. You need to understand that this breakup happened, and it’s now a part of your life story. Breakups can feel unfair or unexpected. Sometimes, even if it was a mutual decision, it still hurts deeply. But refusing to accept the truth won’t change the outcome. The sooner you face it, the sooner you can begin to heal. A breakup might bring feelings of anger, sadness, regret, and even relief. All these emotions are normal. You’re not weak for feeling them — you’re human. Give yourself permission to grieve. You lost something important, and it’s okay to hurt. Remember, every breakup is different. But acceptance is the starting point for every healing journey.

Allow Yourself to Feel and Express the Pain

Trying to hide your emotions only makes things worse. You may feel pressure to be strong or to move on quickly, but suppressing feelings often leads to long-term emotional damage. Cry if you need to. Write down your thoughts. Talk to someone you trust. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a therapist, having someone to listen can be incredibly helpful. Feeling hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak. It shows that you cared deeply. Don’t rush the process. It takes time to get over a breakup and pretending you’re fine won’t make it happen faster. Use this time to reconnect with yourself. Let your emotions flow without judgment. When you fully process your pain, you’re making room for healing.

Limit Contact and Set Boundaries

One of the hardest parts after a breakup is staying away from your ex. But continuing to talk, check their social media, or hang out “as friends” only keeps the wounds open. To truly stop hurting from breakup, you need distance. That means unfollowing, muting, or even blocking if necessary. It’s not about being bitter — it’s about protecting your mental health. Set clear boundaries for yourself. Avoid places you used to go together. Take down photos or reminders of the relationship. Create a space where you can heal without constant triggers. This isn’t easy, especially if the breakup was recent or unexpected. But strong boundaries are essential to getting over a breakup. Remember, every time you reach out, you’re reopening the emotional wounds. Give yourself the space you need to truly move on.

Reflect on the Relationship Objectively

After the initial pain fades, it’s important to look back and reflect on the relationship with clear eyes. What went well? What went wrong? Were your needs truly being met? Don’t romanticize the past. Many people get stuck because they only remember the good times. But every breakup happens for a reason. Be honest with yourself about the problems you faced. Was the relationship balanced? Did you feel respected and loved? Were you constantly compromising your happiness to keep things going? This reflection isn’t about blaming yourself or your ex. It’s about learning. Understanding the dynamics can help you grow and make better decisions in the future. The goal is to come out stronger, wiser, and more aware of what you truly want in your next relationship.

Focus on Self-Care and Routine

After a breakup, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy patterns — skipping meals, staying in bed, or overthinking every little detail. To stop hurting, you must take care of your body and mind. Start small. Eat well. Sleep on time. Move your body — even a short walk can boost your mood. Structure your day so that you stay active and distracted. Create a routine that includes activities that bring you joy or calm. Try journaling, meditating, or taking up a new hobby. Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s survival. A strong routine helps reduce emotional chaos. It gives your mind something to focus on other than the breakup. Over time, it becomes a foundation for your recovery. The more you care for yourself, the easier it becomes to get over a breakup and rebuild your sense of identity.

Surround Yourself with Positive Support

Loneliness often makes a breakup feel worse than it already is. That’s why it’s essential to surround yourself with people who lift you up. Friends, family, even coworkers can help bring joy back into your life. Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out and make plans. Even if you don’t feel like socializing, being around others can remind you that life is still full of love and connection. Avoid people who keep bringing up your ex or feeding negative thoughts. Choose support systems that help you grow and stay grounded. If you feel stuck, consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group. Healing isn’t something you have to do alone. A strong circle can make all the difference.

Redescobrir-se e definir novos objectivos

Breakups often make people lose their sense of self. You may have built routines, dreams, or even your identity around the relationship. Now is the time to reclaim your independence. Ask yourself: Who am I outside of this relationship? What are my goals? What did I love doing before the breakup? Start setting personal goals — big or small. Learn a new skill. Take a class. Travel somewhere new. These steps help you reconnect with who you are and what you want from life. Rediscovering yourself is a powerful way to stop hurting. It reminds you that your life is still meaningful and full of potential. The relationship may be over, but your story is far from finished.

Give Yourself Time Without Pressure

One of the biggest myths about breakups is that you should “get over it” quickly. In reality, healing takes time. There is no set timeline. Comparing your progress to others only leads to frustration. Some days will feel better. Others will hurt more. That’s normal. Grief isn’t linear. You’ll make progress, then take a step back. That’s okay. Don’t rush into another relationship to avoid the pain. Focus on building a stronger version of yourself first. It truly takes time to get over a breakup, and that time is different for everyone. Be patient with your heart. The fact that you’re still hurting doesn’t mean you’re not healing. Remember: it takes to get through heartache. But with each passing day, the pain will feel lighter.

Conclusion: Yes, You Can Stop Hurting from Breakup

Breakups are hard. There’s no easy fix, no magic cure. But healing is possible. When you accept the reality, allow yourself to feel, set boundaries, reflect, and take care of yourself, you give your heart the chance to truly recover. You don’t have to forget the relationship. You just have to learn how to live beyond it. If you’re wondering how to stop hurting from breakup, start with these steps. You’ll slowly notice the pain lessen. You’ll breathe easier. And one day, you’ll wake up and realize — you’re finally free. You can get over a breakup. It won’t happen overnight. But it will happen. Stay kind to yourself. The best is yet to come.

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