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The early phase of a romantic relationship—especially after a long period of solitude or when you fear you may never be truly loved—can feel all-consuming....

The paradox of emotional unavailability is that you can close yourself off so completely that you lose the awareness that you’re shut down in the...

I could not understand why, once I left college and began hunting for my first job, doors kept closing on me. And even when I...

Have a question for you: have you ever been in a relationship where the moment you stop messaging, stop obsessively checking your phone, stop chasing...

When people who have endured psychological trauma begin dating, it’s easy for them to drift away from the present and construct elaborate interpretations about why...

So the other day I had a truly awful emotional meltdown — it was brutal. I got into a heated argument with a vendor I...

I made a video suggesting that couples should each ask their partner for a few concrete actions they could take this week that would genuinely...

Doesn’t it often feel like men retreat to “I don’t know” as a default answer? A friend was describing the most recent argument he had...

Some people insist that cancel culture is a myth or even a necessary corrective, and curiously those voices are often the same ones who have...

The strangest paradox of avoidant attachment is this: the very behaviors that pushed them away are often what they will exhibit once you stop striving...

People who genuinely love you and care about your wellbeing will pay attention to what you require from the relationship in order to feel safe,...

You’ve tried everything to keep them close, haven’t you? You send the first messages. You forgive without insisting on explanations. You tuck away your own...

“Productivity crash” is a phrase I coined to describe a recurring pattern I witness frequently: people who survived childhood trauma can achieve extraordinary feats—performing almost...

Have you ever gone quiet with someone and found yourself obsessing over what’s running through their mind? I’m talking about the person you’re seeing —...

You can sense him pulling back. It starts small: texts that once arrived quickly now take hours; plans that used to be made now evaporate...

Can we start practicing a simple rule: if you feel something, say it? Men, in particular, often struggle with this — acting as if our...

there is a powerful link between childhood abuse and neglect—especially emotional neglect—and a recurring, painful pattern in adulthood of investing all your affection into an...

When parents are so wrapped up in themselves that they barely notice or truly know their children, it’s common for those children to grow up...

Why is it that even when you pitch in around the house she still seems unappreciative? That’s an important question and there are several possible...

Everyone seems to be using the word dysregulation these days—but what does it actually refer to? And what can you do when it happens to...

What might happen if we invited people into a lab and asked them to write about a painful event they had never fully talked through...

Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner has likely experienced a disorienting shift in the relationship: warmth cools, conversations turn curt, and small...

When you’re dealing with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it isn’t their words that usually throw you off — it’s the heavy quiet....

A major challenge for people raised in homes marked by abuse and neglect — and this will resonate for many — is that mean, dismissive...