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Est-ce que j'ai cessé d'aimer ou suis-je déprimé ? Comment faire la différence et demander de l'aideEst-ce que j'ai cessé d'aimer ou suis-je déprimé ? Comment faire la différence et demander de l'aide">

Est-ce que j'ai cessé d'aimer ou suis-je déprimé ? Comment faire la différence et demander de l'aide

Irina Zhuravleva
par 
Irina Zhuravleva, 
 Soulmatcher
11 minutes de lecture
Blog
décembre 05, 2025

Immediate steps: Complete PHQ-9 self assessment, score >=10 equals moderate severity, score >=20 severe; document daily mood, sleep, appetite, energy, concentration, suicidal ideation, psychomotor slowing, actions toward self harm. Keep timestamps, emails to yourself for reliable record youll share with clinician.

Quick differentiation: Grief commonly follows a specific loss, comes in waves triggered by memories, preserves self esteem for most people, focus often on what was lost, intensity tends to decrease over months after acute period; clinical mood disorder produces pervasive hopelessness, persistent low feeling, reduced ability to enjoy hobbies, marked changes in behaviors such as withdrawing from friend groups, appetite loss or increase, trouble focusing, actions that increase risk. It can be hard to figure cause alone, this guidance applies to those experiencing prolonged low mood.

Actions to take now: keep daily log for 14 days, schedule 20 minute hobby sessions on calendar, reach out to one trusted friend or family member for support, limit alcohol, sleep at consistent times, set small behavioral goals, learn skills to deal with intrusive thoughts, youll want to bring mood log to appointment, contact licensed clinician if PHQ-9 remains elevated after two weeks or if suicidal thoughts emerge. If you are experiencing suicidal intent contact emergency services or crisis line immediately, inform friend about safety plan, remove lethal means if present.

Example: susan doesnt confuse transient numbness after breakup with enduring disorder, before separation she enjoyed multiple hobbies, after separation she tracked mood daily, PHQ-9 rose to 15, she did decide to contact licensed clinician, began CBT plus SSRI, within 8 weeks sleep normalized, appetite improved, social behaviors returned, exhausting isolation eased. Use susan’s approach to figure which path applies to you, involve others in safety planning, consult licensed clinician to decide next steps, prioritize vital routines while treatment begins to improve functioning.

Practical steps to identify root causes and plan support

Start a one-week mood log now: record date,time,situation,intensity 0–10,onset sudden vs gradual,suddenly occurring intrusive thoughts,obsessive thinking,negative perception of events,sleep hours,appetite,medication taken,reassurance sought,actions that reduce symptoms,note subjective feelings.

Use structured checklist to identify root causes: recent loss,conflict,illness,medication change,substance use,hormonal shifts,workplace stress,financial shock; quantify duration in days or weeks; mark frequency per day; flag symptoms that persist >14 days with functional impairment for clinical evaluation for depressive disorder.

Zinman-Ibrahim theory (zinman-ibrahim theory) helps separate situational triggers from biological drivers: list clear triggers,rate mood reactivity 0–10,note whether mood lifts with positive events (situational) or remains low regardless (biological); biological patterns often include early-morning worsening,appetite change,psychomotor slowing,cognitive blunting; situational patterns often show sudden onset after specific thing,rumination that accompanies that event,reassurance-seeking behavior.

Use validated scales to provide objective data: PHQ-9, GAD-7, Mood Disorder Questionnaire; score thresholds guide next steps; PHQ-9 ≥10 suggests moderate depressive state; item 9 warrants immediate safety plan if positive.

Medication vs psychotherapy decisions: consider medication when symptoms are moderate-to-severe, suicidal ideation present,prior positive response to meds; expect partial relief in 2 weeks; meaningful response by 4–8 weeks; combine medication with CBT or interpersonal therapy for higher remission rates; involve psychiatrist for medication adjustments.

Make a small support plan: share mood log with trusted contact or clinician; set micro-goals: 10-minute outdoor walk daily,consistent sleep window,regular protein-rich meals,limit alcohol; schedule follow-ups at 2-week intervals; provide crisis numbers in phone; reassurance statements prepared for moments when loss feels overwhelming.

Work with clinician to review findings; remember sleep quality is vital; one small change often makes measurable difference; symptoms are not only situational; actually many people meet criteria for depressive disorder while also reacting to stressor; share true concerns openly; acknowledge challenges that accompanies recovery; use paired strategies: medication when indicated,short-term CBT for cognitive distortions,behavioral activation for activity scheduling; track progress weekly so youve objective proof of healing across mood,energy,interest aspects.

Track mood, sleep, and daily energy over 7 days

Track mood, sleep, and daily energy over 7 days

Record mood, sleep hours, energy level daily for 7 consecutive days, using numeric scales, timestamps, short notes.

Note small changes in daily states; if one thing repeats across entries, flag it; look for those patterns using simple charts, ways to visualize: daily line graph, heatmap; really focus on repeated triggers beyond singular events.

  1. If average mood ≤4 for 5+ days, sleep <6 hours or>10 hours, energy variability high, plus disinterest across days, decide faster action: schedule counseling or contact primary care within 2 weeks.
  2. If low scores appear only after conflict with other person or during situational stress, track another 7 days; if improvement occurs gradually, continue monitoring.
  3. If anxiety spikes without clear situational trigger, or withdrawal increases despite trying self-care, best move is clinical assessment sooner than later.
  4. Either share log with trusted person, or bring it to counseling; someone explains patterns better than memory, someone may suggest objective next steps.

After day seven calculate averages, count days meeting concern criteria, note whats repeated; actually act sooner if risk indicators present, use results to decide next step.

Differentiate cues: loss of interest vs persistent sadness vs irritability

Start a 28-day symptom log: record number of activities engaged, mood on a 0–10 scale, episodes of irritability per day, instances of withdrawing, sleep hours, appetite change, medication taken.

Remember studies comparing profiles show key contrasts between loss of interest, persistent sadness, irritability: loss of interest presents as progressive loss of pleasure, withdrawal from hobbies, reduced pursuit towards goals; persistent sadness appears as low mood within most waking hours, pervasive negative thoughts, slowed cognition; irritability shows quick temper, disproportionate reactions to minor setbacks, hostile communication.

Look for objective signs that suggest a clinical disorder rather than situational distress: symptoms lasting >14 days with functional decline, youve stopped routines you valued, work or study performance drops, relationships suffer because symptoms bother others; suicidal ideation or self-harm intent requires immediate evaluation.

To decide whether relationship strain or a mood condition is primary, compare timing: did low mood start before breakup, during recurring stressors, within multiple settings; asking specific questions about onset, triggers, duration helps clarify whether grief related to loveor loss dominates or a broader mood disorder does. Use communication tests: if difficulty is only with one person issue may be interpersonal; if same problems appear across contexts suspect clinical problem.

Practical steps: create a one-page summary for clinicians listing frequency, worst days per week, strongest triggers, efforts youve made to cope. Be sure yourself you can describe what feels worse than usual; if unsure, ask a clinician for a structured assessment. Treatment options vary depending on severity; psychotherapy often recommended first, medication recommended when symptoms impair function significantly; track response over 6–8 weeks to judge benefit since partial change within that window guides next steps. Include natural measures about sleep, exercise, social contact to create adjunct relief even while awaiting formal treatment.

Assess impact on relationships and responsibilities

Assess impact on relationships and responsibilities

Start a two-week log: record daily interactions, missing commitments, suddenly occurring mood shifts, irritation episodes; rate each entry 1–10 for interest, energy, connection. Even small shifts may reflect a unique mood pattern that merits immediate review. If connection scores fall consistently below 4 while joy ratings hit hopeless ranges, learn to separate low attraction in romantic partnership from clinical patterns that might require medical diagnosis. Key signs over 14 days include social withdrawal, being emotionally flat during conversations, stopped calling friends, avoidance of responsibilities, rising irritation during brief exchanges. Ask trusted others to report observed changes; friend feedback often highlights missing initiatives that others notice before self-awareness returns. Research shows consistent reduced motivation plus persistent hopeless mood increases probability of a psychiatric cause rather than simple relationship shift; making time for counseling or coach consultation speeds accurate assessment. Be sure to rule out medical factors: sleep disruption, thyroid problems, substance use; share test results with clinician prior to formal diagnosis. If partner reports “I don’t feel seen anymore” or you stopped trying to keep plans, rate impact on dependents; missed work days or suddenly failing chores rank among biggest functional markers. Create a concrete plan: schedule counseling session within two weeks, notify a friend for accountability, book primary care visit within one month, keep daily log throughout treatment.

Communicating with your partner: expressing feelings without blame

Start with a single clear script: name a specific behavior, state one emotional effect, and request one concrete change; this method will provide a measurable way to check responses and keep conversations focused.

Schedule talks away from sudden triggers; if your partner has recently changed routines or looks drained, pause and reschedule. Imagine entering a conversation when both are emotionally rested rather than speaking towards a crisis moment; someone in a depressive state needs a gentler pace.

Use brief factual notes before you speak: jot dates, similar examples, times you felt disconnected, and whats most important to you. Tell your partner what you observed without assigning motive – describe the thing they did, not why you think theyre doing it – to reduce defensive reactions and avoid labels like obsessive.

Phrase examples from your perspective: “I feel anxious when X happens; I need Y for our connection.” That phrasing gives insight, reduces blame, and can prevent a small issue from escalating to breakup talk. Keep every request concrete so decisions can be measured later.

After the exchange, check in within 48 hours: ask for their perspective, note if responses changed, and keep notes on follow-up actions. If patterns remain draining or you notice persistent depressive signs, provide those notes to a clinician or someone you trust before making major decisions about yourself or the relationship.

Situation I-statement Request
Sudden withdrawal after plans changed “I feel hurt when plans shift without warning; I feel emotionally cut off.” “Can you tell me beforehand or text if something comes up?”
Critiques fréquentes qui paraissent personnelles Je me sens épuisé(e) lorsque les remarques sont perçues comme une critique constante. « Veuillez indiquer une chose à la fois et équilibrer avec quelque chose que j'ai bien fait. »
Le fait d'envoyer des SMS de manière répétée et qui donne une impression d'obsession Je me sens dépassé(e) par les messages incessants ; cela me détourne du travail. Concordez sur les points de contrôle : envoyer des SMS deux fois pendant les heures de travail, puis suspendre jusqu'au soir.

Recherche d'aide professionnelle : qui contacter et à quoi s'attendre lors de l'évaluation

Contacter d'abord le médecin traitant ou le psychiatre pour évaluer les symptômes actuels et les risques ; c'est le moyen le plus rapide d'obtenir un tri par un expert.

En cas de danger immédiat, appelez les services d'urgence ou une ligne d'écoute; sinon, prenez rendez-vous avec un professionnel de la santé mentale tel qu'un psychologue, un conseiller agréé, une infirmière psychiatrique ou un psychiatre.

L'évaluation prend généralement 30 à 60 minutes ; le clinicien posera des questions sur l'humeur, le sommeil, l'appétit, la concentration, la motivation, les pensées suicidaires, la consommation de substances, l'antécédents médicaux, les réseaux de soutien social et les facteurs de stress actuels.

Le clinicien utilisera des questionnaires de dépistage brefs pour évaluer la gravité, par exemple le PHQ-9 et le GAD-7, et partagera les résultats et indiquera qu'un suivi est recommandé lorsque cela est nécessaire.

L'objectif est de déterminer si les symptômes correspondent aux critères diagnostiques ou s'ils sont liés au stress relationnel, aux transitions de la vie, à une maladie physique, aux effets secondaires des médicaments, à un manque de motivation et à un malheur persistant sans trouble clinique.

Si des analyses de laboratoire sont indiquées, le clinicien peut prescrire une fonction thyroïdienne, une formule sanguine complète, de la B12, de l'acide folique et de la vitamine D, spécifiquement pour écarter les causes réversibles.

Les recommandations courantes incluent la psychothérapie (TCC, interpersonnelle), l'orientation vers un psychiatre pour la gestion médicamenteuse, l'activation comportementale structurée ou le coaching avec un coach certifié, et la thérapie familiale pour améliorer la communication.

Apporter un calendrier concis des symptômes, une liste des médicaments actuels, des notes sur les facteurs de stress récents et les coordonnées de quelqu'un qui peut fournir des antécédents collatéraux ; l'accompagnement d'un membre de la famille de confiance peut faciliter un compte rendu précis.

Même si le diagnostic peut évoluer lentement, une fois le traitement commencé, attendez-vous à des changements mesurables dans les 4 à 12 semaines pour les médicaments ou la thérapie, avec des améliorations progressives des fonctions quotidiennes et de la motivation.

Si les symptômes vous importunent, dites-le ; n'ignorez pas les idées suicidaires, la consommation de substances ou les troubles du sommeil sévères – la divulgation permet de déterminer les besoins urgents et les priorités thérapeutiques. La divulgation de pensées suicidaires est importante pour une planification précise des risques.

La recherche d'un clinicien approprié doit se concentrer sur l'adéquation de l'expertise au profil des symptômes, les références vérifiées, les avis des patients et les détails de couverture ; n'oubliez pas de vous renseigner sur la durée d'attente, les honoraires et la politique d'annulation lors de la prise de rendez-vous.

Trouvez également des groupes de pairs locaux et des forums en ligne ici pour obtenir des conseils pratiques ; combiner réellement des soins professionnels avec des ajustements de style de vie augmente la probabilité d’amélioration.

De petites étapes quotidiennes vous rapprochent de routines plus claires et d'une meilleure régulation émotionnelle ; si les options auto-dirigées ne donnent aucun résultat, passez à une orientation vers un spécialiste.

Si des problèmes de planification ou d'assurance rendent l'accès difficile, demandez à la réceptionniste des alternatives ou des options de tarification progressive ; acceptez cette réaction comme naturelle tout en trouvant des voies de recours réalisables vers les soins.

Qu'en pensez-vous ?