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Why is it always the anxious partner who ends up adjusting for the avoidant? What do you mean by “adjusting”? I mean it’s constantly the...

Have you ever known you ought to do something—get to work on time, put away laundry, finish a creative piece, or even brush your teeth...

Many people who have survived traumatic experiences end up surrounded by excess stuff, and because clutter can hold you back, it’s empowering when you find...

People often mix things up: you can establish boundaries, but you cannot compel others to honor them. Surprising, yes — many of us have tried...

They left without warmth. No tears. No memorable farewell. Just a wall of silence, blocks, unfollows, disappearance. It feels as if you never mattered. Your...

A few years back I asked Emily whether she had ever gone along with something sexual with me when she actually didn’t want to, and...

The most genuinely powerful people I’ve encountered were quietly kind. They weren’t trying to please everyone or easily pushed around. They were centered, direct, and...

They walked away and left you feeling like you’ve been hit with emotional whiplash — one moment you were their closest confidant, the next you...

There’s a common idea that people squander whatever they have in surplus — whether it’s food, money, time, or health. When something is plentiful, it’s...

They didn’t capture you with grand vows; they held you captive with their absence. Not by what they offered, but by what they refused to...

there’s always a risk when you take part in 12-step groups or join online meetings made up of people who are there because they have...

Okay, pay attention — if you don’t get a handle on your fears, they’ll undermine your relationship the way mine did. Consider anxious and avoidant...

May I offer a piece of advice? Don’t allow tenderness to fade from your partnership; don’t let romance fall by the wayside. You often don’t...

Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems like when you constantly go out of your way for a partner who never returns the...

You conclude they no longer care. You take their quiet as the final verdict. No message, no call, no sign — that must mean it’s...

If adults you relied on betrayed you as a child, your sense of self-worth and personal boundaries can be so damaged that you become blind...

Why is it that every time I mention men helping with the dishes the response always swings back to money? What does money have to...

It’s heartbreaking when caregivers overlook a child whose need for affection, attention and safety is as vital as eating, breathing and drinking. If you grew...

Alright — is this an appropriate place for me to vent? Can I safely get something off my chest? Someone left a nice comment about...

Let’s be honest for a moment: being rejected hurts. It bites. Whether it’s a job you wanted, a friendship, or a relationship you invested in,...

To be honest, I’m embarrassed when I look back at the times people treated me badly and, instead of removing myself from the situation, I...

The paradox of emotional unavailability is that you can close yourself off so completely that you lose the awareness that you’re shut down in the...

The early phase of a romantic relationship—especially after a long period of solitude or when you fear you may never be truly loved—can feel all-consuming....

When I first began teaching about trauma, I never imagined that one of the most persistent, defining consequences of childhood abuse and neglect would also...