Narcissist Test – Is My Partner a Narcissist? 12 Signs & Quick Quiz

Immediate recommendation: State one clear expectation about behavior now: tell them you will remove access to shared accounts and implement a boundary within 48–72 hours; if a similar situation repeats, and they didnt respect that limit, follow through and document each instance where credit was taken or feelings were dismissed.

Track 12 specific indicators in a log that shows dates, exact words, and consequences for you; record situations which seem to escalate control, note when your loving efforts are later used as leverage, and list any action that makes you feel emotionally drained. This method will help you gain objective data instead of relying on impression alone.

If the documented pattern persists, consider two options: choose one immediate alternative and limit shared settings while seeking カップル or individual therapy that targets accountability and measurable behavior change. Use informational resources that are practical and helpful, and expect resistance – when the other person says they’ll change but didnt, prioritize your safety. One final thing: keep short, dated notes to present in any clinical or legal setting.

Partner Narcissist Assessment: One-Page Practical Guide

Recommendation: implement a 30-day boundary now – limit contact to logistics, switch to written communication, document every incident with date, time and a one-line summary; only respond after 24 hours and prioritize safety first.

Daily checklist: record concrete episodes when they display controlling behavior; note attempts to manipulate conversations, sudden lash-outs, public compliments followed by private criticize, gaslighting tactics, and any demands that override your personal needs.

Documentation format: timestamp | short quote | context | emotional impact | witnesses. Keep a separate file for media (screenshots, voice notes). Label entries clearly so a clinician or legal advisor can read them well and fast.

Scoring guideline: count repeated patterns across different contexts. 0–2 isolated incidents; 3–5 pattern emerging; 6+ indicates persistent problematic behavior that may qualify for psychiatric assessment. Self-check instruments are informational only; a formal clinical interview specifies diagnostic criteria.

Key psychological markers to track: lack of empathy, entitlement, image management on social media, boundary violations, relentless need for admiration, and using compliments strategically to regain control. These are central indicators worth noting in every entry.

When to escalate: if physical intimidation, financial coercion, or threats appear, tell trusted contacts, consult a lawyer, and contact authorities. For emotional patterns that impair functioning, request a psychiatric referral and provide your documented timeline.

Clinical options: bring your file to a licensed clinician for a structured interview or standardized test; some practitioners use the mitra framework or DSM-based assessments. Do not rely on listicles – they are different from a diagnostic process.

Follow-up plan: review entries after 30, 90 and 180 days; measure change in behavior and needs being respected. If theyre repeatedly apologetic but patterns resume, treat patterns as stable rather than situational and plan a long-term safety strategy.

12 concrete signs to observe day-to-day with real examples

Document every incident with date, short description and witnesses; limit solo confrontation, secure safety if threatened, and consult a clinician when multiple patterns meet dsm-5 criteria for a formal assessment.

Use this table as an objective checklist: rate frequency and impact over time, mark red flags, and compare notes against the dsm-5 concept and criteria with a qualified clinician. A screening test can help identify patterns but cannot replace clinical diagnosis; if multiple items meet threshold, seek evaluation so a professional can determine whether diagnostic criteria are met and advise safety and care plans. Be aware of your perspectives, take second opinions, and prioritize documentation so you are able to demonstrate patterns that will support any future diagnosis or intervention.

How to administer the 12-item quick quiz and calculate a clear score

Administer all 12 items in one uninterrupted session and score immediately: use a 0–4 response scale where 0 = no agreement, 1 = slight, 2 = moderate, 3 = clear, 4 = strong agreement.

This instrument was designed as a brief screening tool, not a diagnostic instrument; results should be compared with professional criteria such as dsm-5 if further evaluation is considered.

Scoring method: sum item values for a total between 0 and 48. Suggested interpretation bands: 0–12 = low; 13–24 = moderate; 25–36 = high; 37–48 = very high. If the total falls in the high or very high ranges, discuss results with a clinician–scores alone do not confirm a clinical diagnosis.

Administration rules to improve reliability: (1) ensure privacy and no interruptions; (2) answer based on typical behavior across months, not a single event or recent conflict; (3) avoid leading prompts during conversations or while collecting collateral reports from friends; (4) if items are marked as reverse-scored on your form, invert those scores before summing.

When interpreting results, combine the total with contextual information: having repeated patterns of grandiose display, persistent need for compliments, convincing explanations that rewrite memories, episodes of aggression or manipulation, and an emphasis on achievements over relationships increases concern. Look for consistency across settings (work, social, friends) rather than isolated incidents.

If youre taking this for someone else, record who completed the form and when it was taken; if the measure is taken multiple times, plot totals to see trends started after major life events or therapy. Added collateral from conversations, friends, and objective records helps separate momentary stress from stable behavior.

Practical next steps: low totals suggest typical variation and likely healthy coping; moderate totals warrant monitoring and boundary-setting; high totals indicate benefit from professional help, safety planning if aggression is present, and structured interventions that target manipulation and interpersonal problems. Everything should be weighed against functional impact and risk; eventually a clinician can map results to formal criteria and treatment options.

Specific manipulation patterns to log (gaslighting, love-bombing, silent treatment)

Start a manual log now: record date/time, how the episode started, exact content of messages or talking points, and one personal sentence about immediate impact.

For gaslighting record verbatim quotes, documented contradictions with prior facts, who changed timelines, attempts to shift blame or accuse you of violence, and every instance of turning criticism back on you so these behaviors qualify as a pattern.

For love-bombing log frequency, romantic gifts, strong praise and rapid attention spikes; note causes you suspect (attention needs, loneliness), how fast affection started, any chance you gave after withdrawal, how they present themself, and instances of putting you on a pedestal to manipulate – save screenshots of everything to show the high-to-low swing.

For silent treatment log duration in minutes/hours/days, who initiated silence and if they wont answer calls or texts, the emotional energy you expend, your struggle to get information, any ultimatum-style behavior, and the specific ways you attempted reconnection which were ignored; these entries are helpful if you seek outside input.

Set measurable thresholds that qualify as an ongoing pattern: three gaslighting entries within 30 days, repeated love-bombing followed by withdrawal, or silent spells over 48 hours with refusals to discuss. Track cumulative energy drain and criticism frequency so its possible to show not isolated incidents but recurring behaviors – export monthly logs; thats better for any review or support decision.

Short conversational checks for empathy and accountability you can try tonight

Ask tonight: “Can you explain how my reaction affected you?” – then stay silent for five seconds to let them answer without interruption.

• Prompt: “Which part of what I said felt unfair to you?”

  What to listen for: a response that names the other’s perspective and acknowledges your rights to feel; if they dismiss or minimize your feelings, that’s disrespect. Use the immediate context to judge whether their reply is reflective or defensive.

• Prompt: “If this were reversed, what would you want me to do?”

  What to listen for: concrete actions (take responsibility, apologize, change a behavior) versus abstract explanations. Answers that outline specific steps are more likely to indicate genuine accountability rather than performative concern.

• Prompt: “Do you accept responsibility for X, and what will you do about it?”

  Why it matters: this is a brief diagnostic of accountability: “I messed up and I’ll…” versus “I didn’t do that” or shifting blame. Responsibility language is central to repair.

• Prompt: “Tell me what you felt in the moment.”

  Watch for: naming emotions (hurt, embarrassed, confused) rather than rationalizing or exaggerating details to excuse behavior. People who can label emotions are more aware and able to help de-escalate.

• Prompt: “Do you recognize how this affected my life or daily routine?”

  What to listen for: acknowledgment of real impact on yours or theirs; vague reassurance without specifics is less convincing. Honest answers that qualify the harm (not minimize or amplify) show better empathy.

• Prompt: “Would you like me to take a break while we cool down, or would you prefer to talk now?”

  Why use this: offers choice and tests whether they respect boundaries and your rights to space. Someone displaying urgency to control the process rather than offering options may be avoiding accountability.

• Tone and follow-up: keep requests factual and brief; avoid extreme labels. Give them the chance to respond with grace – a short sincere apology followed by an action plan is more meaningful than a convincing speech that deflects blame.

• If you see refusal to engage: note repeated patterns rather than isolated incidents. Clinically unresponsive empathy (constant rationalization, no behavior change) requires attention; consider asking for mediated help or professional services.

• Safety and resources: if conversations escalate or you feel unsafe, contact national services for immediate help. For ongoing difficulty, a clinician can help you both deal with communication breakdowns and recognize which attitudes are repairable.

Keep records of answers and behavior over several interactions; one evening is not a full diagnostic, though consistent refusal to acknowledge emotions, repeated disrespect, or habitually shifting blame is central to concern and should be addressed with support that can ensure your safety and rights are respected.

Immediate safety and boundary steps if the quiz indicates high risk

Leave immediately and go to a safe public place or the home of a trusted person if there is any threat to your physical safety.

• Call emergency services now if you are being assaulted; get medical attention for injuries – keep records for later and tell the clinician exactly what happened (medical paperwork helps prove events and supports any future psychiatric or legal diagnosis).
• Create a short emergency kit before you leave: ID, passport, cash, keys, medications, a charged phone, copies of important documents; do this quietly so you are not putting things where the other person can find them.
• Document every incident immediately: photos, timestamps, screenshots, written notes of words said during a disagreement, voice mail and texts. Save labels and unusual tags like “rddp” or “mitra” that appear in messages – external evidence often carries weight.
• Tell two trusted contacts who can provide an alternate address or company emergency contact; agree on a code word so they know to act without putting you at more risk.
• Lock down digital access: change passwords, enable two-factor authentication, log out shared devices, and back up important files to an external drive kept outside the home.
• Secure finances: move funds to a separate account, get copies of bank and credit statements, place fraud alerts or credit freezes if necessary.
• If boundaries are violated repeatedly, communicate in writing only and keep all written exchanges; if the other person doesnt respect a boundary, stop direct contact and escalate safety steps.

1. Assess immediate danger level: if violence is likely or escalating, leave and call the police; if the risk is lower, put a clear temporary separation plan in place and inform your support line.
2. File an evidence packet: date-stamped photos, medical reports, a chronology of events (including the other person’s grandiose claims or attempts to manipulate external witnesses), and witness statements if available.
3. Contact local legal aid or a civil protection service to understand restraining order procedures and timelines – many jurisdictions provide emergency orders on the same day; get court contacts before you need them.
4. Make a communication plan for children and pets: designate who will pick them up, where they will stay, and how custody will be handled temporarily to reduce immediate risk to minors or animals.

Boundary-setting actions to implement immediately:

• No-contact phrase: set a single, written channel for necessary communication (email or text), limit content to logistics, and block all other accounts if possible.
• Do not disclose future plans, new addresses, or financial moves in shared messages; keep those details to your documented support network only.
• Respecting your own limits means not engaging in arguments about belief systems or attempts to gaslight; in writing, state only facts and then cease interaction.
• Expect common manipulation tactics such as love bombing followed by devaluation; recognize hallmark patterns and tell a support person when you notice them so you are less likely to respond impulsively.

Context and follow-up: some clinicians reference nine recognized diagnostic criteria for personality disorders, but only a qualified clinician can provide a psychiatric diagnosis – a single self-administered test is informational only and doesnt replace assessment by a trained professional. If you are doing intake with mental health services, bring your documentation and be ready to tell a clear timeline of behaviors, having examples that show patterns and traits over time. The american resources listed below provide safety planning tools and hotlines that can result in immediate shelter, legal referrals, and advocacy to protect life and wellbeing.

Resources: safety planning and 24/7 support are available from the National Domestic Violence Hotline – https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/safety-planning/ (informational and practical steps, including local shelter directories and crisis line contacts).