イリーナ・ジュラヴレヴァ

When someone retreats from you, the instinctive reaction might be to chase after them, to reach out, or to try to close the sudden gap...

The quickest way to undermine a relationship is to ignore what it requires to thrive. When people say, “You shouldn’t have needs in a relationship,”...

If someone repeatedly behaves in ways that hurt you—over and over—this is rarely a fleeting phase; it’s a pattern. If they withdraw when you’re upset,...

When disrespect in a relationship comes to mind, many picture explosive fights, slammed doors, or an obvious betrayal. But what if the harm is quiet?...

There are everyday behaviors you repeat without noticing that quietly undermine your relationships, your self-esteem, and the life you could have. These aren’t dramatic meltdowns...

How many times have you asked for something that should have been simple and reasonable, only for it to erupt into another argument where they...

You know that moment when someone you love begins to drift — the messages taper off, the calls fade, silence takes over — and your...

Let me explain why the Golden Rule can actually work against your relationship. So what is the Golden Rule? In its simplest form it says:...

When a friend abruptly cuts you off and you can’t figure out why, the simplest explanation might be that the person wasn’t a suitable friend...

I’ve made some truly terrible choices in my life—really odd, self-sabotaging moves when it came to relationships, careers, and the ways I reacted in anger....

It can be incredibly confusing to weigh staying in a secure but uninspiring partnership against ending it to chase something more passionate, unpredictable, and risky—with...

Imagine meeting someone genuinely kind, who’s emotionally available and treats you with respect. You’d think that would spark something, right? Yet sometimes you feel nothing...

Nearly everyone who reaches out here to the Crappy Childhood Fairy describes having been invisible or misunderstood by their caregivers. Whether through neglect, substance use,...

You’re having an ordinary conversation and someone drops a small comment — “don’t be so sensitive,” “you’re overreacting,” or the one that lands like a...

Today my aim is to transform how you handle conflict in your close relationships. We’re not talking about “punching” fights away — rather, we’re going...

Among the warning signs I’ve learned to spot, one in particular always makes my alarm bells ring: when an adult claims they never want to...

One night I was called into the hospital and found a man suffering a massive heart attack. We fought to save him for a long...

All right — the aim here is to help resolve the conflicts that are eroding your relationship. It may sound ambitious, but this is worth...

There’s a pattern that comes from trauma where people move through life without ever truly committing to anything long-term — relationships, careers, communities, even the...

If the word “space” keeps popping up in your relationships, this material is aimed at you. What people commonly lump together as avoidant attachment is...

A lot of people misunderstand avoidance: they assume pulling away is a sign of strength, that detachment equals confidence. In reality, avoidant withdrawal is not...

A few days ago a post explored how shutting down or stonewalling during an argument can leave a partner feeling unheard, isolated, and even abandoned,...

My fear of being left in the future led me to abandon my own needs in the here and now. I constantly put everyone else...

Even rats become obsessed when rewards and care are repeatedly mixed with cruelty and isolation, so it’s not surprising that people raised with trauma often...