イリーナ・ジュラヴレヴァ

When someone retreats from you, the instinctive reaction might be to chase after them, to reach out, or to try to close the sudden gap...

Nearly everyone who reaches out here to the Crappy Childhood Fairy describes having been invisible or misunderstood by their caregivers. Whether through neglect, substance use,...

Believe me from hard-won experience: destroying a marriage is almost always much easier than rebuilding one. It takes far less effort to let a relationship...

Nothing scrambles your mind or wounds you more than trying to maintain any kind of relationship with someone who behaves narcissistically — the gaslighting, the...

You’re having an ordinary conversation and someone drops a small comment — “don’t be so sensitive,” “you’re overreacting,” or the one that lands like a...

About 30% of couples — whether dating or married — report experiencing some form of infidelity, and that number only reflects what’s been disclosed. After...

Okay — how can you tell if someone is a narcissist or simply an avoidantly attached person, and what should you do if you’re in...

Today my aim is to transform how you handle conflict in your close relationships. We’re not talking about “punching” fights away — rather, we’re going...

All right — the aim here is to help resolve the conflicts that are eroding your relationship. It may sound ambitious, but this is worth...

Growing up with trauma affects each person differently, yet the patterns of symptoms that can surface later in life are strikingly similar for many of...

All right — here’s a very simple way to approach relationship advice: ask yourself one question. Do you feel stuck? Does it seem like no...

My fear of being left in the future led me to abandon my own needs in the here and now. I constantly put everyone else...

Among the warning signs I’ve learned to spot, one in particular always makes my alarm bells ring: when an adult claims they never want to...

If the word “space” keeps popping up in your relationships, this material is aimed at you. What people commonly lump together as avoidant attachment is...

There’s a pattern that comes from trauma where people move through life without ever truly committing to anything long-term — relationships, careers, communities, even the...

A lot of people misunderstand avoidance: they assume pulling away is a sign of strength, that detachment equals confidence. In reality, avoidant withdrawal is not...

Even rats become obsessed when rewards and care are repeatedly mixed with cruelty and isolation, so it’s not surprising that people raised with trauma often...

One night I was called into the hospital and found a man suffering a massive heart attack. We fought to save him for a long...

A few days ago a post explored how shutting down or stonewalling during an argument can leave a partner feeling unheard, isolated, and even abandoned,...

The universe keeps a harsh equilibrium. Every deed invites a counterforce. Every ounce of emotional investment you give to someone can come with a cost....

“Marriages die in the conversations that never happen” — that line, attributed to Dr. John Gutman who has examined thousands of couples, sums up a...

They vanished without a word three months ago — no farewell, no explanation, just silence. Then, in the small hours last night, at 2:08 a.m.,...

If you find yourself wondering, “Is this relationship worth salvaging?” it usually means you’re stuck in one of three painful scenarios. First, you may be...

Growing up in an environment marked by emotional neglect or cruelty trains your nervous system to respond by withdrawing. You stop crying. You stop protesting....