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Some people act difficult because they carry pain; others behave that way because inflicting pain gives them a sense of power. In both cases, if...

I can say with absolute confidence: saying “I love you” alone won’t preserve a relationship. Love by itself is insufficient — intimacy demands far more...

Have you ever felt muzzled? You raise your voice about something important and instead of being listened to, you’re dismissed. Sometimes people laugh. Sometimes they...

The single thing that terrifies a toxic person more than almost anything else is when you draw firm boundaries — because boundaries remove their power....

Alright — as you probably know, Father’s Day is this Sunday, and I wanted to offer some thoughts on ways you might show your partner...

For a person burdened by psychological trauma, seeking support from the wrong people while trying to heal from childhood wounds can feel deeply unsettling and...

You glance at your phone again, replaying the last exchange and wondering what went wrong. You’ve tried being calmer, kinder, less demanding. You’ve minimized your...

Many of the people I work with are hurting because they accepted the idea that if they long for a loving, committed partnership, having a...

There are two especially damaging ways that self-centered parents can shape how you relate to others: first, by not taking an interest in or supporting...

If you want to move from “getting by” to genuinely great intimacy, it helps to understand the four broad kinds people often talk about: physical...

Have you ever wondered why the person who walked away from you can’t actually let you go? Even when they’re with someone new, even while...

Okay — a straightforward question: how do I talk to my partner without them feeling attacked or shutting down? How can I bring up something...

Okay, we’re live — hello everyone, and thanks for being here. It’s me, the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and Rob has been collecting your questions for...

There comes a point when words begin to lose their power. You have spoken everything that could be said, named every feeling, justified every silence,...

I’ll always remember the moment I learned there was an actual label for the confusing feelings, odd actions, and repeated mistakes that had shadowed me...

Listen — I don’t know which one of you needs to hear this, but it drains you when only one person seems to care about...

All right — if you arranged a spa day for your partner or encouraged her to spend Mother’s Day out with her friends, nice work....

Think of these two leaves as a picture of your relationship. I plucked them from the same flourishing plant—one received sunlight, water and good soil;...

Think about it — the same things we did to win her over are exactly the things we need to keep doing to maintain her...

Men — please don’t let your relationship fall apart the way mine did. I’m sharing this as a warning: by the time you finally say...

You cannot keep playing the avoidance game forever. Time evens everything out. The wall you assembled around your heart, brick by brick, telling yourself it...

If a child grows up without enough emotional care, they can be especially likely to channel their romantic energy toward people who aren’t actually available....

Ending up in harmful partnerships is a common and painful outcome for people who experienced abuse and neglect growing up. When mistreatment was normal in...

The saddest part about childhood trauma, to me, is seeing so many people move through life with a battered spirit — their self-assurance, hope, and...