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I could not understand why, once I left college and began hunting for my first job, doors kept closing on me. And even when I...

Have you ever gone quiet with someone and found yourself obsessing over what’s running through their mind? I’m talking about the person you’re seeing —...

The strangest paradox of avoidant attachment is this: the very behaviors that pushed them away are often what they will exhibit once you stop striving...

Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner has likely experienced a disorienting shift in the relationship: warmth cools, conversations turn curt, and small...

People who genuinely love you and care about your wellbeing will pay attention to what you require from the relationship in order to feel safe,...

You’ve tried everything to keep them close, haven’t you? You send the first messages. You forgive without insisting on explanations. You tuck away your own...

You can sense him pulling back. It starts small: texts that once arrived quickly now take hours; plans that used to be made now evaporate...

Can we start practicing a simple rule: if you feel something, say it? Men, in particular, often struggle with this — acting as if our...

there is a powerful link between childhood abuse and neglect—especially emotional neglect—and a recurring, painful pattern in adulthood of investing all your affection into an...

When parents are so wrapped up in themselves that they barely notice or truly know their children, it’s common for those children to grow up...

What might happen if we invited people into a lab and asked them to write about a painful event they had never fully talked through...

Everyone seems to be using the word dysregulation these days—but what does it actually refer to? And what can you do when it happens to...

Why is it that even when you pitch in around the house she still seems unappreciative? That’s an important question and there are several possible...

A major challenge for people raised in homes marked by abuse and neglect — and this will resonate for many — is that mean, dismissive...

When you’re dealing with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it isn’t their words that usually throw you off — it’s the heavy quiet....

Okay. If you withdraw during an argument—something you might not usually do—I’ll be brief. But if you’re like me, there are moments in the middle...

Okay, today we have an extraordinarily special guest. For those who haven’t met her yet, Dr. Sue Johnson is a distinguished psychologist, author, speaker and...

I notice recurring patterns after reading hundreds of messages from people who follow this channel. One of the most dangerous signs that someone is losing...

Today we’re going to explore the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in intimate relationships. Underneath most arguments lie unmet wants and fears that...

One of the surest ways to slowly destroy a relationship is chronic people-pleasing. Not everyone naturally becomes a people pleaser — it often grows out...

Okay, this is a little bit of a rant, but whenever I try to offer relationship guidance — even when I start by saying that...

Being raised amid abuse and neglect nearly always saps a person of their natural strength. You begin to doubt your worth, lose faith in your...

Today I want to tackle a difficult question: should you change for your partner? The short answer is no — don’t alter who you are...

Have you ever paused to ask yourself whether you might be a narcissist, or at least exhibit narcissistic behaviors sometimes? If you grew up abused...