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there is a powerful link between childhood abuse and neglect—especially emotional neglect—and a recurring, painful pattern in adulthood of investing all your affection into an...

When parents are so wrapped up in themselves that they barely notice or truly know their children, it’s common for those children to grow up...

Why is it that even when you pitch in around the house she still seems unappreciative? That’s an important question and there are several possible...

Everyone seems to be using the word dysregulation these days—but what does it actually refer to? And what can you do when it happens to...

What might happen if we invited people into a lab and asked them to write about a painful event they had never fully talked through...

Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner has likely experienced a disorienting shift in the relationship: warmth cools, conversations turn curt, and small...

Okay. If you withdraw during an argument—something you might not usually do—I’ll be brief. But if you’re like me, there are moments in the middle...

When you’re dealing with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it isn’t their words that usually throw you off — it’s the heavy quiet....

I notice recurring patterns after reading hundreds of messages from people who follow this channel. One of the most dangerous signs that someone is losing...

A major challenge for people raised in homes marked by abuse and neglect — and this will resonate for many — is that mean, dismissive...

Okay, today we have an extraordinarily special guest. For those who haven’t met her yet, Dr. Sue Johnson is a distinguished psychologist, author, speaker and...

What I’m teaching men is how to show up as themselves — genuine, transparent, truthful, willing to be vulnerable — and to practice that honesty...

One of the most corrosive aftereffects of enduring abuse is how it warps your inner life. Your emotions go offline. You feel disconnected. It becomes...

Would you be prepared to pose this question to your partner: when was the last time you felt lonely in this relationship? From what I...

Have you noticed that in most relationships one person tends to be the more self-reliant partner? If you’re unsure which side that is in your...

It wasn’t physical violence. It was quiet. It manifested as hushed comments, the sudden hush when you enter a room, forced smiles, realizing you’ve been...

Have you ever paused to ask yourself whether you might be a narcissist, or at least exhibit narcissistic behaviors sometimes? If you grew up abused...

Today we’re going to explore the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in intimate relationships. Underneath most arguments lie unmet wants and fears that...

Okay, picture this: many of us either already have children or hope to have them someday. Now ask yourself—would it sit right with you if,...

Today I want to tackle a difficult question: should you change for your partner? The short answer is no — don’t alter who you are...

Being raised amid abuse and neglect nearly always saps a person of their natural strength. You begin to doubt your worth, lose faith in your...

Okay, this is a little bit of a rant, but whenever I try to offer relationship guidance — even when I start by saying that...

One of the surest ways to slowly destroy a relationship is chronic people-pleasing. Not everyone naturally becomes a people pleaser — it often grows out...

The single most potent way to create genuinely meaningful connections with others is to make them feel heard. People crave that — and doing it...