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Nearly everyone who reaches out here to the Crappy Childhood Fairy describes having been invisible or misunderstood by their caregivers. Whether through neglect, substance use,...
My fear of being left in the future led me to abandon my own needs in the here and now. I constantly put everyone else...
You’re having an ordinary conversation and someone drops a small comment — “don’t be so sensitive,” “you’re overreacting,” or the one that lands like a...
About 30% of couples — whether dating or married — report experiencing some form of infidelity, and that number only reflects what’s been disclosed. After...
Growing up with trauma affects each person differently, yet the patterns of symptoms that can surface later in life are strikingly similar for many of...
Nothing scrambles your mind or wounds you more than trying to maintain any kind of relationship with someone who behaves narcissistically — the gaslighting, the...
Believe me from hard-won experience: destroying a marriage is almost always much easier than rebuilding one. It takes far less effort to let a relationship...
All right — here’s a very simple way to approach relationship advice: ask yourself one question. Do you feel stuck? Does it seem like no...
Among the warning signs I’ve learned to spot, one in particular always makes my alarm bells ring: when an adult claims they never want to...
There’s a pattern that comes from trauma where people move through life without ever truly committing to anything long-term — relationships, careers, communities, even the...
A lot of people misunderstand avoidance: they assume pulling away is a sign of strength, that detachment equals confidence. In reality, avoidant withdrawal is not...
A few days ago a post explored how shutting down or stonewalling during an argument can leave a partner feeling unheard, isolated, and even abandoned,...
Even rats become obsessed when rewards and care are repeatedly mixed with cruelty and isolation, so it’s not surprising that people raised with trauma often...
One night I was called into the hospital and found a man suffering a massive heart attack. We fought to save him for a long...
If the word “space” keeps popping up in your relationships, this material is aimed at you. What people commonly lump together as avoidant attachment is...
One thing that both intrigues and alarms me is how those who seek to control and manipulate others seem to instinctively recognize that people with...
Have you ever noticed that sudden, hard-to-name change? One minute the atmosphere between you feels warm and alive — real connection, tangible possibility. You feel...
I keep thinking there ought to be a simple checklist to tell you if the person you’re dating is a narcissist — that would be...
When an avoidant ex comes to the slow recognition that the most valuable thing they ever had was you, it doesn’t land like a thunderclap....
Have you ever stared at someone you adore and felt like your words were dissolving into emptiness? You reach for any sign of intimacy, any...
Our romantic partners are not our dependents, so it becomes problematic when we end up managing everything for them while they fail to contribute their...
I think we waste too much energy trying to label our partner as a narcissist instead of simply acknowledging that certain behaviors are unacceptable. Ultimately,...
Why do avoidant partners act with contempt toward you? That question doesn’t just float through your mind — it lands hard in your chest because...
Have you ever watched an avoidant partner disappear the moment things start to deepen, only to reappear weeks or months later as if nothing happened?...
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