If Your Body Does This, DON’T Ignore It! — It Means You’re In Survival Mode

If you often find yourself zoning out, snapping at others, or feeling your heart race for no obvious reason, your body may be trying to communicate something important. This isn’t merely everyday stress — these are signals that your system could be stuck in survival mode. Ignoring them doesn’t make the harm disappear; it accumulates. That’s one way trauma embeds itself in the nervous system. Below you’ll learn how to recognize it and begin healing right away. Many people know the phrase “fight-or-flight,” but few realize that for those who grew up with abuse, neglect, or persistent fear, that stress response can get frozen in the “on” position — not just during dangers, but long after the threat has passed. When that happens, the nervous system treats ordinary life as if it were hazardous, even when everything is safe. This state is commonly called survival mode. It’s not a character flaw; it’s a bodily condition. Your heart rate shifts, breathing becomes shallow, digestion slows, thinking fogs or becomes hypervigilant — the body prioritizes sheer survival above everything else. Even a stranger’s odd look can trigger it. Survival mode can show up in ways that don’t look dramatic at first. You might blank out in the middle of a conversation, feel an inexplicable urge to flee, chalk a memory lapse up to getting older, or be hit by sudden irritability or fear with no clear cause. These reactions aren’t definitive proof of trauma, but they’re common patterns in people who experienced it, particularly in childhood — and they deserve attention because when this reactivity becomes habitual, it can start to control your life. You might notice yourself avoiding others, shutting down during disagreements, overexplaining, or struggling to complete tasks even when you desperately want to. Those behaviors don’t automatically prove dysregulation, but when they happen repeatedly, it’s a strong clue that something deeper is going on in your nervous system. For example, after my divorce when my children were small, I lived with a lot of fear and had to travel frequently for work. Packing, organizing my work, getting the kids ready for an extended stay at their father’s, making sure the cat would be fed, dressing neatly with matching shoes and earrings, and getting to the airport on time was overwhelming. I’d arrive at the airport in a state of panic, convinced I’d forgotten something and that I’d miss the flight. To this day I have recurring dreams of dysregulation. I don’t usually get enough sleep to dream constantly, but this one repeats endlessly: I’m in a hotel trying to reach the airport. There’s always a gorgeous pool I hoped to use, but obstacles block me. I finally get in the pool and then panic because I’m supposed to be at the airport. I’m scrambling for shoes, changing clothes, stuffing things into a suitcase, and trying to find a ride. Again and again I hop into a taxi or rideshare, glance at my watch, and think it’s hopeless — then I wake up. I used to call it a stress dream; now I recognize it as a dysregulation dream because it captures exactly what being dysregulated feels like: “Where are my shoes? Oh no, I already sent the suitcase downstairs. I left all my toiletries in the bathroom — what am I going to do?” It’s just so hard to get out the door. If preparing for a trip leaves you sweaty, panicked, and convinced you’ll fail, you might be living in survival mode. If your emotions frequently feel too intense or if, after a fierce outburst, your feelings suddenly go flat, that suggests your stress response isn’t resetting. Getting stuck in cycles of panic, collapse, or withdrawal may be your body’s way of handling old overwhelm. Animals do the same: possums freeze, pets panic when stressed. Have you ever tried putting a cat into a car without a carrier, or called a dog out of a kennel when it refuses to move? Their bodies are managing overwhelm — frantically trying to escape or hiding — and that’s a natural survival response. Being in survival mode doesn’t make you defective or insane; it means your nervous system still reacts as it had to in earlier threatening circumstances, often from childhood. It’s not your fault. But now that you recognize it, you have the ability to start unwinding that old fear response. You don’t need to wait for external conditions to change. Healing from trauma isn’t about “fixing” yourself; it’s about learning to re-regulate — calming the nervous system repeatedly over time. When you’re regulated, it’s much easier to see what needs to change and to actually make those changes. In fact, many changes aren’t possible until you’re regulated. When you begin slipping into overwhelm and survival mode, there are practical steps you can take to re-regulate in 15 minutes or less. There’s a full list I’ve put together called “Signs of Disregulation and Emergency Measures to Reeregulate” — it’s a free download and I’ll place it as the first link in the description under this video so you can find it easily. (Click the “more” button to view links.) The emergency strategies include simple moves like telling yourself, “I’m getting dysregulated and I’m going to re-regulate myself now.” Naming what’s happening can be surprisingly grounding — it brings you back into reality and is often half the battle. The list also offers physical techniques such as stamping your feet, washing your hands in warm water, or running up and down stairs if you’re able; these are easy to do in most places. One of the most powerful tools for immediate emotional regulation and longer-term stability is what I call the daily practice — a straightforward combination of writing and meditation done morning and evening. I’ve practiced these techniques every day for more than thirty years. This approach isn’t about digging through your history or overanalyzing; it’s a way to clear mental clutter, soothe the body, and give yourself a restorative reset. I’ll link the free daily practice course as the second link in the description so you can access it. The method asks you to write out your fears and resentments using a very specific format, so please take the free course before you begin: if you simply vent onto the page without the format, it can make you feel worse. When writing, keep it brief if you prefer — a page, less, or more — then write a release statement. If you pray, this can be a prayer asking for those fears and resentments to be removed. After that, rest your mind with a short meditation — about 20 minutes. If you don’t pray, you can still practice a deliberate release; it takes real strength to let go of stressed thoughts and feelings. For me, consciously releasing has been difficult, and it’s part of why I turned to a spiritual practice. But the routine is simple: do the writing and the release twice daily. It may sound too basic, but for people prone to dysregulation, steady and uncomplicated practices are precisely what work. Students who’ve used this tool report calmer, more focused emotions, better attention, improved relationships, and forward movement after long periods of being stuck. If you’re wondering whether you might be dysregulated, here are patterns that show up frequently: zoning out in conversations, especially when emotions rise; feeling dread or shame after social interactions; avoiding tasks not because they’re difficult but because they feel overwhelming; saying yes when you mean no or staying silent; overreacting to small things or becoming numb where you should feel more. None of these prove trauma or dysregulation on their own — they can stem from many causes — but if you experienced early trauma and these patterns repeat, it’s worth exploring, particularly when they interfere with daily life. Start small. First, track these moments — no spreadsheet needed, just a quick phone note or journal entry. What happened right before you felt dysregulated? What sensations did you notice in your body? What did you do afterward? Most people don’t realize how often these episodes occur until they start writing them down. Second, if you aren’t doing the daily practice yet, begin. If you already do it, keep going. If you want something even simpler to start with, take 20 minutes each day without input — no phone, no noise, no multitasking — and practice one of the emergency re-regulation measures from the free download (first link in the description). Pick a go-to grounding tool you can use on the spot. And if you do only one thing, go outside and move your body. One surprising thing you may notice as you calm down: peace can feel strange. You might feel bored, irritated, or oddly sad simply because there’s no drama to keep you occupied. That’s normal. If your life has been focused on survival, calm can be unfamiliar and may register as numbness. It’s not bad or wrong; it’s part of learning something new as you give yourself space to feel that emptiness. Re-regulating your nervous system isn’t about being serene all the time — it’s about developing the skill of returning to calm when something knocks you off balance. That skill changes everything. When you’re regulated, your decisions improve, your options expand, your concentration gets better, and your overall health often benefits. You stop having to fight every moment just to feel okay and can move through your day with greater clarity, connection, and steadiness. You don’t need perfection or complete healing to begin — just one step, then another. If you’ve been living in survival mode, consider this your permission to stop waiting. Feeling safe and calm is allowed. You can build a life that fits you. You don’t have to be fully healed to start; you only need to be regulated enough to take the next small step. Begin.

[Music] You know you should clear away the clutter, yet you feel powerless to act. Letting it sit only worsens the other problems in your life, making each of them a bit harder to manage.