How to Overcome an Existential Crisis – Practical Steps

Commit now: choose three values to pursue within 48 hours and schedule one measurable micro-action per day (10–20 minutes) tied to each value. Write them in a single notebook and mark which values were last considered; if a value hasn’t been considered in 90 days, place it in a “test” column. Use pockets of otherwise wasted time (commute, lunch) for these micro-actions and set calendar reminders for accountability.

If persistent melancholy or a low-level malaise lasts more than two weeks, track incidence: count low days per month, note preceding activities and any relationship responses, then share that log with their clinician or a trusted contact. demarco suggests 150-word daily notes so patterns can be seen at a glance on a single site or app; although digital logs are searchable, paper entries reduce passive scrolling and help redirect attention.

If you feel lost or like you’re drowning in the past, perform a 30-minute audit: list five decisions that most changed your path and record where you went after each – which doors closed and which opened. For every line, pick one forward action to reduce rumination: call one person, submit one application, or volunteer four hours that week. choosing small, measurable bets converts vague worry into specific outcomes within 14 days.

Run two weekly experiments for 30 days to test options that could change their lives: one social (revive a relationship with a contact you respect) and one skill (complete four focused practice sessions). Measure outcomes – number of meaningful conversations, practice sessions completed, and mood score before and after – then compare against baseline to see what went from inert to active and decide the next path based on concrete evidence.

Identify 3 triggers and map them in a values journal

Pick the three most frequent triggers this week and record each entry with timestamp, intensity (0–10), situation, automatic thoughts, likely causes, and the single value most violated.

1. Identify precise triggers (days 1–7):

   • Log every trigger within 30 minutes of it happening; aim for at least 20 entries in week one to capture reliable patterns.
   • Label the trigger with a one-line descriptor (example: “team critique,” “partner late,” “news about success”). Use ones that recur at least twice.
   • Note immediate thoughts (word-for-word), emotions, body sensations, and a brief guess at causes (external event, sleep, hunger, memory).

2. Map each trigger to values and gaps:

   • Choose one primary value violated per entry from a fixed list: love, autonomy, competence, honesty, care, joy/joys, fairness.
   • Score mismatch 0–3: 0 = aligned, 1 = slight, 2 = clear mismatch, 3 = severe mismatch. Track average per trigger.
   • Under the value field, write a 10-word statement of what “living that value” looks like for you (e.g., love = “showing affection, saying thank you, being available”).

3. Translate mapping into immediate interventions:

   • For mismatch score 2–3, apply a two-minute grounding script (name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear) then list one behavioural micro-step that restores the value (call, apology, boundary, slow breathing).
   • Record whether the micro-step reduced intensity within 20 minutes (yes/no) and the resulting intensity number.
   • Avoid leaping to solutions; prioritize slow, reversible actions that preserve options and relationships (example: “ask for 10 minutes” rather than “quit”).

4. Weekly review and quantitative targets:

   • At week end, compute: frequency per trigger, mean intensity, mean mismatch score. Set targets: reduce frequency by 40% or intensity by 30% over six weeks for the top trigger.
   • Mark which triggers are relational (partner, married status, friends) vs situational (work, money). Note patterns: thoughts that include “not enough” predict higher mismatch scores.
   • Define one systemic change per trigger (communication script, schedule change, therapy session) and assign a deadline and accountable person.

5. Safety and when to seek external help:

   • If entries include persistent suicidal thoughts, write that explicitly in the journal and seek help immediately; calls to local crisis lines or emergency services are appropriate and helpful.
   • Document whether thoughts include intent or plan; if yes, contact emergency services or a trusted clinician right away; never minimize those notes.
   • Use the journal to share concrete examples with a clinician (dates, triggers, intensity) to speed up productive sessions rather than relying on vague recall.

6. Maintenance, resources and amplification:

   • Continue structured writing for 6 weeks: daily entries for two weeks, then 3× weekly. The ultimate goal is clear awareness that allows choice before reaction.
   • Listen to a relevant podcast episode (for example, one where Olsen and co-editor Barnard takes 20 minutes to discuss values mapping) as a model for concise framing and micro-actions.
   • Use the journal as an opportunity to record joys and moments of alignment (one line per day). Track increases in “happy” entries as an outcome metric.

Suggested journal template fields (copy each entry): Time | Trigger label | Intensity 0–10 | Thoughts | Emotion | Causes | Value | Mismatch 0–3 | Micro-step taken | Intensity after 20 min | Notes about relationships (married/partner) | Calls/contacts made.

Practice a 5-minute grounding routine to calm the mind and body

Set a 5-minute timer and follow this micro-protocol: inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds for six cycles; then perform a 5-4-3-2-1 sensory scan; finish with progressive muscle release and one clear action sentence to resolve a pressing thought.

Exact 5-minute sequence (times and actions)

0:00–0:30 – sit with feet flat at home or at a desk, place hands on thighs, check baseline on a site heart-rate app or self-rate symptoms 0–10; 0:30–2:00 – paced breathing 4-4-6 for six cycles (if theyre short of breath reduce hold to 2s); 2:00–3:30 – 5-4-3-2-1: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste or imagine tasting; 3:30–4:30 – progressive release: tense then relax calves, thighs, abdomen, shoulders, hands, jaw (6–8s tension, full release); 4:30–5:00 – form one sentence that redirects the recurring thought into a small action (“I will write one sentence to resolve X”), say it aloud and note one measurable next step.

When to use, measurement and cautions

Use twice daily and during transitions (before leaving home, after heavy media exposure or pandemic-triggered overload); record pre/post ratings on the same site or paper and track change over two weeks – aim for a consistent 1–3 point drop in subjective symptoms. If youre afraid of breath holds or have respiratory issues, shorten hold times and consult a clinician. For persistent lost meaning or worsening symptoms consult a therapist; philosophers such as beauvoir, jørgen and kierkegaard wrote about engagement and happiness turning around focused practice and small choices. If you have questions about adapting counts or technique, check the FAQ on the site or the comments where users wrote what worked for them; redirecting attention this way takes 5 minutes and keeps things actionable rather than abstract, which often reduces rumination and helps resolve immediate distress.

Turn 1: Reframe the crisis as information about what truly matters

Record three specific episodes this week when you felt most unsettled: timestamp, location, one clear trigger word, intensity 1–10, the exact question that arose, and what you were doing. Treat each entry as a data point, not a verdict.

Analyze the pattern within 7 days

Aggregate entries into categories (relationships, work, mortality, creativity, ethics). If one category accounts for ≥40% of entries, label it a priority value signal. Note how often the worry resolves within 24 hours to estimate fleetingness; median resolution <24h >

Run two controlled experiments (14 days each)

Experiment A: Allocate three 45-minute slots per week to activities aligned with your top value (e.g., mentoring, art, volunteering). Experiment B: Allocate the same time to neutral tasks. Measure pre/post session mood and answer a single question on impact: “Did this reduce the specific question that triggered my entry?” Use a 1–10 scale; a shift ≥2 points is meaningful. If Experiment A consistently beats B, realise that the data points indicate a durable preference rather than a transient mood.

Supplement with micro-practices: read a short passage from simone, sartre and kierkegaards to sample different framings and note which resonates; barnard suggests focusing on observable behaviour over abstract belief, so prioritize actions that are ethically aligned rather than only believing you should change. If you are struggling to act, join a small peer group for accountability and log engagement minutes; track whether engagement reduces recurring questions soon or later. Keep one persistent reference (источник) for quotes that re-anchor your inner values. These steps help you overcome paralysis by converting worry into measurable, actionable information about what truly matters in your current days.

Turn 2: Design a 30-day meaning project with daily milestones

Commit to 30 consecutive days: 45 minutes per day, a simple spreadsheet with Date, Task, Time, MeaningScore (1–10) and one microscopic metric (e.g., number of genuine smiles, pages written, people contacted).

Days 1–3: define three core values and one particular outcome for the month (example: “increase social warmth by 30% measured by MeaningScore”). Create baseline entries for five daily indicators so you can see the difference by day 10.

Días 4–10: realiza seis experimentos cortos – cada experimento dura 48 horas. Ejemplos: únete a un evento de un grupo local, mándale un mensaje de un párrafo a un viejo amigo, asiste a una charla pública en Barnard, lee un ensayo corto de Simone de Beauvoir, escucha a Mozart para una reflexión enfocada de 30 minutos. Registra el estado de ánimo, los factores desencadenantes de la evitación y cualquier cambio drástico en la Puntuación de Significado.

Día 11: realizar una auditoría de punto medio de 15 minutos: calcular el MeaningScore promedio, señalar tres ideas que se sintieron arriesgadas pero funcionaron, y tres acciones que te dejaron desconectado. Si una métrica se ha mantenido constante hasta ahora, duplica la dosis de la acción que produjo el mayor aumento inmediato.

Días 12–20: priorizar experimentos sensoriales que agudicen la presencia – una caminata donde las hojas sean visibles en diferentes momentos, una sesión de cocina centrada en texturas sensuales, un micro-turno de voluntariado con un pequeño grupo local. Registrar alegrías y pequeñas victorias diariamente, señalar cualquier cosa que se sienta trágica o sin sentido para su reemplazo específico.

Días 21–26: sintetizar lo que explican los datos. Convocar una reflexión de 30 minutos con un colega de confianza o una entrada de diario titulada “hallazgos vs. dudas”: enumerar 10 ideas para escalar y 5 para abandonar. Si una interacción fue famosa por su impacto (un mensaje, una reunión), replicar su estructura en un nuevo contexto.

Días 27–30: diseñe un plan de consolidación que le cambie la vida: tres rutinas para después de los 30, un compromiso arriesgado (oferta pública, inscripción a una clase o lanzamiento creativo en un grupo) y un calendario de micro-revisiones para los próximos 90 días. Capture una breve narrativa explicando de dónde viene el significado y lo que no significa para usted.

Después del día 30: comparar promedios, exportar la hoja y programar una revisión de 60 minutos en cuatro semanas. Utilizar los datos registrados para evitar patrones de evasión, mantener los experimentos arriesgados que produjeron ganancias constantes y convertir las ideas exitosas en rituales mensuales.

Crea un mapa de apoyo: a quién contactar, cuándo contactar y cómo pedir ayuda.

Cree un mapa de apoyo de una página ahora: enumere seis contactos, asigne prioridad (1–3 emergencia), registre el teléfono, el método de contacto preferido y escriba dos guiones exactos para llamadas y mensajes de texto; esta tarea toma menos de 15 minutos.

Categorizar contactos: Inmediato (minutos) – número de emergencia local o línea de crisis para plan activo, intención o autolesión; A corto plazo (horas–días) – dos amigos o familiares de confianza cuando el sueño, el apetito o el estado de ánimo han disminuido notablemente o se descuidan las tareas básicas; A corto-medio plazo (días–semanas) – terapeuta, médico de cabecera o grupo de apoyo cuando persisten el bajo estado de ánimo, la ansiedad o el declive del rendimiento laboral; Mayor escalada – RR. HH., líder religioso o persona de apoyo documentada para necesidades de atención superpuestas. Utilizar las señales como desencadenantes: pensamientos suicidas, alucinaciones auditivas, retraimiento repentino o un cambio drástico en la rutina similar a episodios anteriores.

Guiones para usar: Llamada de emergencia – “Tengo un plan y necesito ayuda inmediata; por favor, envíen servicios de emergencia”. Llamada a un amigo – “Estoy pasando por un mal momento; ¿puedes quedarte al teléfono durante 20 minutos?”. Solicitud al terapeuta – “Estoy experimentando un aumento de pensamientos suicidas y necesito una cita en los próximos cinco días”. Si te preguntas qué decir primero, escribe dos frases cortas que resuman los sentimientos actuales y una necesidad concreta (quédate, ven, vuelve a llamar); considéralo como tu mini ensayo para entregárselo a cualquiera que te pregunte.

Logística: guarda el mapa en tres lugares: contactos del teléfono, una tarjeta impresa en tu cartera para entregar a los servicios de emergencia y un documento en la nube compartido con una persona de confianza. Programa recordatorios en el calendario para revisiones periódicas (diarias cuando sea agudo, semanales en caso contrario). Designa una persona de respaldo si el contacto principal no está disponible; si no se le puede contactar después de tres intentos, pasa a tu siguiente prioridad. Limita la divulgación más amplia; comparte detalles solo con personas que entiendan la confidencialidad y se preocupen.

Monitorización y ajuste: definir parámetros medibles (sueño) <4 hours, withdrawal>48 horas, ideación suicida) y aumentar la frecuencia de contacto cuando se crucen los umbrales. Observar las influencias mediáticas: las narrativas famosas a menudo muestran giros trágicos y una belleza posterior, que puede sentirse profunda, pero no son una plantilla fiable para tu camino; aunque estas historias ayudan a algunos, son similares a anécdotas – rastrea qué historias amplifican tu angustia y cambia la exposición en consecuencia. Mantén el mapa actualizado después de cualquier evento importante y cuando superar un patrón requiera más apoyo profesional.