Irina Zhuravleva

I could not understand why, once I left college and began hunting for my first job, doors kept closing on me. And even when I...

there is a powerful link between childhood abuse and neglect—especially emotional neglect—and a recurring, painful pattern in adulthood of investing all your affection into an...

Can we start practicing a simple rule: if you feel something, say it? Men, in particular, often struggle with this — acting as if our...

Why is it that even when you pitch in around the house she still seems unappreciative? That’s an important question and there are several possible...

Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner has likely experienced a disorienting shift in the relationship: warmth cools, conversations turn curt, and small...

What might happen if we invited people into a lab and asked them to write about a painful event they had never fully talked through...

Some people insist that cancel culture is a myth or even a necessary corrective, and curiously those voices are often the same ones who have...

The strangest paradox of avoidant attachment is this: the very behaviors that pushed them away are often what they will exhibit once you stop striving...

You’ve tried everything to keep them close, haven’t you? You send the first messages. You forgive without insisting on explanations. You tuck away your own...

People who genuinely love you and care about your wellbeing will pay attention to what you require from the relationship in order to feel safe,...

You can sense him pulling back. It starts small: texts that once arrived quickly now take hours; plans that used to be made now evaporate...

Everyone seems to be using the word dysregulation these days—but what does it actually refer to? And what can you do when it happens to...

Okay. If you withdraw during an argument—something you might not usually do—I’ll be brief. But if you’re like me, there are moments in the middle...

When you’re dealing with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it isn’t their words that usually throw you off — it’s the heavy quiet....

Okay, today we have an extraordinarily special guest. For those who haven’t met her yet, Dr. Sue Johnson is a distinguished psychologist, author, speaker and...

A major challenge for people raised in homes marked by abuse and neglect — and this will resonate for many — is that mean, dismissive...

I notice recurring patterns after reading hundreds of messages from people who follow this channel. One of the most dangerous signs that someone is losing...

The single most potent way to create genuinely meaningful connections with others is to make them feel heard. People crave that — and doing it...

Being raised amid abuse and neglect nearly always saps a person of their natural strength. You begin to doubt your worth, lose faith in your...

Okay, this is a little bit of a rant, but whenever I try to offer relationship guidance — even when I start by saying that...

Today we’re going to explore the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in intimate relationships. Underneath most arguments lie unmet wants and fears that...

Oh my god — nothing I do is ever enough. Wait, what did you just say? I said it doesn’t matter what I try; it’s...

Okay, picture this: many of us either already have children or hope to have them someday. Now ask yourself—would it sit right with you if,...

This is not merely a relationship with routine highs and lows. What you’re caught in is a deliberate psychological scheme. The avoidant person in your...