How to Overcome an Existential Crisis – Practical Steps

Commit now: choose three values to pursue within 48 hours and schedule one measurable micro-action per day (10–20 minutes) tied to each value. Write them in a single notebook and mark which values were last considered; if a value hasn’t been considered in 90 days, place it in a “test” column. Use pockets of otherwise wasted time (commute, lunch) for these micro-actions and set calendar reminders for accountability.

If persistent melancholy or a low-level malaise lasts more than two weeks, track incidence: count low days per month, note preceding activities and any relationship responses, then share that log with their clinician or a trusted contact. demarco suggests 150-word daily notes so patterns can be seen at a glance on a single site or app; although digital logs are searchable, paper entries reduce passive scrolling and help redirect attention.

If you feel lost or like you’re drowning in the past, perform a 30-minute audit: list five decisions that most changed your path and record where you went after each – which doors closed and which opened. For every line, pick one forward action to reduce rumination: call one person, submit one application, or volunteer four hours that week. choosing small, measurable bets converts vague worry into specific outcomes within 14 days.

Run two weekly experiments for 30 days to test options that could change their lives: one social (revive a relationship with a contact you respect) and one skill (complete four focused practice sessions). Measure outcomes – number of meaningful conversations, practice sessions completed, and mood score before and after – then compare against baseline to see what went from inert to active and decide the next path based on concrete evidence.

Identify 3 triggers and map them in a values journal

Pick the three most frequent triggers this week and record each entry with timestamp, intensity (0–10), situation, automatic thoughts, likely causes, and the single value most violated.

1. Identify precise triggers (days 1–7):

   • Log every trigger within 30 minutes of it happening; aim for at least 20 entries in week one to capture reliable patterns.
   • Label the trigger with a one-line descriptor (example: “team critique,” “partner late,” “news about success”). Use ones that recur at least twice.
   • Note immediate thoughts (word-for-word), emotions, body sensations, and a brief guess at causes (external event, sleep, hunger, memory).

2. Map each trigger to values and gaps:

   • Choose one primary value violated per entry from a fixed list: love, autonomy, competence, honesty, care, joy/joys, fairness.
   • Score mismatch 0–3: 0 = aligned, 1 = slight, 2 = clear mismatch, 3 = severe mismatch. Track average per trigger.
   • Under the value field, write a 10-word statement of what “living that value” looks like for you (e.g., love = “showing affection, saying thank you, being available”).

3. Translate mapping into immediate interventions:

   • For mismatch score 2–3, apply a two-minute grounding script (name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear) then list one behavioural micro-step that restores the value (call, apology, boundary, slow breathing).
   • Record whether the micro-step reduced intensity within 20 minutes (yes/no) and the resulting intensity number.
   • Avoid leaping to solutions; prioritize slow, reversible actions that preserve options and relationships (example: “ask for 10 minutes” rather than “quit”).

4. Weekly review and quantitative targets:

   • At week end, compute: frequency per trigger, mean intensity, mean mismatch score. Set targets: reduce frequency by 40% or intensity by 30% over six weeks for the top trigger.
   • Mark which triggers are relational (partner, married status, friends) vs situational (work, money). Note patterns: thoughts that include “not enough” predict higher mismatch scores.
   • Define one systemic change per trigger (communication script, schedule change, therapy session) and assign a deadline and accountable person.

5. Safety and when to seek external help:

   • If entries include persistent suicidal thoughts, write that explicitly in the journal and seek help immediately; calls to local crisis lines or emergency services are appropriate and helpful.
   • Document whether thoughts include intent or plan; if yes, contact emergency services or a trusted clinician right away; never minimize those notes.
   • Use the journal to share concrete examples with a clinician (dates, triggers, intensity) to speed up productive sessions rather than relying on vague recall.

6. Maintenance, resources and amplification:

   • Continue structured writing for 6 weeks: daily entries for two weeks, then 3× weekly. The ultimate goal is clear awareness that allows choice before reaction.
   • Listen to a relevant podcast episode (for example, one where Olsen and co-editor Barnard takes 20 minutes to discuss values mapping) as a model for concise framing and micro-actions.
   • Use the journal as an opportunity to record joys and moments of alignment (one line per day). Track increases in “happy” entries as an outcome metric.

Suggested journal template fields (copy each entry): Time | Trigger label | Intensity 0–10 | Thoughts | Emotion | Causes | Value | Mismatch 0–3 | Micro-step taken | Intensity after 20 min | Notes about relationships (married/partner) | Calls/contacts made.

Practice a 5-minute grounding routine to calm the mind and body

Set a 5-minute timer and follow this micro-protocol: inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds for six cycles; then perform a 5-4-3-2-1 sensory scan; finish with progressive muscle release and one clear action sentence to resolve a pressing thought.

Exact 5-minute sequence (times and actions)

0:00–0:30 – sit with feet flat at home or at a desk, place hands on thighs, check baseline on a site heart-rate app or self-rate symptoms 0–10; 0:30–2:00 – paced breathing 4-4-6 for six cycles (if theyre short of breath reduce hold to 2s); 2:00–3:30 – 5-4-3-2-1: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste or imagine tasting; 3:30–4:30 – progressive release: tense then relax calves, thighs, abdomen, shoulders, hands, jaw (6–8s tension, full release); 4:30–5:00 – form one sentence that redirects the recurring thought into a small action (“I will write one sentence to resolve X”), say it aloud and note one measurable next step.

When to use, measurement and cautions

Use twice daily and during transitions (before leaving home, after heavy media exposure or pandemic-triggered overload); record pre/post ratings on the same site or paper and track change over two weeks – aim for a consistent 1–3 point drop in subjective symptoms. If youre afraid of breath holds or have respiratory issues, shorten hold times and consult a clinician. For persistent lost meaning or worsening symptoms consult a therapist; philosophers such as beauvoir, jørgen and kierkegaard wrote about engagement and happiness turning around focused practice and small choices. If you have questions about adapting counts or technique, check the FAQ on the site or the comments where users wrote what worked for them; redirecting attention this way takes 5 minutes and keeps things actionable rather than abstract, which often reduces rumination and helps resolve immediate distress.

Turn 1: Reframe the crisis as information about what truly matters

Record three specific episodes this week when you felt most unsettled: timestamp, location, one clear trigger word, intensity 1–10, the exact question that arose, and what you were doing. Treat each entry as a data point, not a verdict.

Analyze the pattern within 7 days

Aggregate entries into categories (relationships, work, mortality, creativity, ethics). If one category accounts for ≥40% of entries, label it a priority value signal. Note how often the worry resolves within 24 hours to estimate fleetingness; median resolution <24h >

Run two controlled experiments (14 days each)

Experiment A: Allocate three 45-minute slots per week to activities aligned with your top value (e.g., mentoring, art, volunteering). Experiment B: Allocate the same time to neutral tasks. Measure pre/post session mood and answer a single question on impact: “Did this reduce the specific question that triggered my entry?” Use a 1–10 scale; a shift ≥2 points is meaningful. If Experiment A consistently beats B, realise that the data points indicate a durable preference rather than a transient mood.

Supplement with micro-practices: read a short passage from simone, sartre and kierkegaards to sample different framings and note which resonates; barnard suggests focusing on observable behaviour over abstract belief, so prioritize actions that are ethically aligned rather than only believing you should change. If you are struggling to act, join a small peer group for accountability and log engagement minutes; track whether engagement reduces recurring questions soon or later. Keep one persistent reference (источник) for quotes that re-anchor your inner values. These steps help you overcome paralysis by converting worry into measurable, actionable information about what truly matters in your current days.

Turn 2: Design a 30-day meaning project with daily milestones

Commit to 30 consecutive days: 45 minutes per day, a simple spreadsheet with Date, Task, Time, MeaningScore (1–10) and one microscopic metric (e.g., number of genuine smiles, pages written, people contacted).

Days 1–3: define three core values and one particular outcome for the month (example: “increase social warmth by 30% measured by MeaningScore”). Create baseline entries for five daily indicators so you can see the difference by day 10.

Days 4–10: run six short experiments – each experiment lasts 48 hours. Examples: join a local group event, throw a one-paragraph message to an old friend, attend a Barnard public talk, read a short essay by Simone de Beauvoir, listen to mozarts for focused 30-minute reflection. Log mood, avoidance triggers, and any dramatic shifts in MeaningScore.

Day 11: perform a 15-minute midpoint audit: compute average MeaningScore, note three ideas that felt risky but worked, and three actions that left you disconnected. If a metric has been flat until now, double the dose on the action that produced the largest immediate uplift.

Days 12–20: prioritize sensory experiments that sharpen presence – a walk where leaves are visible at different times, a cooking session focused on sensual textures, a micro-volunteer shift with a small local group. Track joys and small wins daily, flag anything that feels tragic or meaningless for targeted replacement.

Days 21–26: synthesize what the data explains. Convene a 30-minute reflection with a trusted peer or journal entry titled “finding vs wondering”: list 10 ideas to scale and 5 to abandon. If one interaction was famous in its impact (a message, a meeting), replicate its structure in a new context.

Days 27–30: design a life-changing consolidation plan: three post-30 routines, one risky commitment (public offering, class sign-up, or creative throw into a group), and a calendar of micro-checks for the next 90 days. Capture a short narrative explaining what meaning comes from and what it does not mean to you.

After day 30: compare averages, export the sheet, and schedule a 60-minute review in four weeks. Use the recorded data to avoid patterns of avoidance, keep the risky experiments that produced steady gains, and convert successful ideas into monthly rituals.

Build a support map: who to contact, when to reach out, and how to ask for help

Create a one-page support map now: list six contacts, assign priority (1–3 emergency), record phone, preferred contact method, and write two exact scripts for calls and texts; this task takes less than 15 minutes.

Categorize contacts: Immediate (minutes) – local emergency number or crisis line for active plan, intent, or self-harm; Short-term (hours–days) – two trusted friends or family when sleep, appetite or mood have gone markedly down or basic tasks are neglected; Short-to-medium (days–weeks) – therapist, GP or peer group when low mood, anxiety or work performance decline persist; Further escalation – HR, faith leader or documented support person for overlapping care needs. Use signs as triggers: suicidal thoughts, auditory hallucinations, sudden withdrawal, or a drastic change in routine similar to previous episodes.

Scripts to use: Emergency call – “I have a plan and need immediate help; please send emergency services.” Friend call – “I’m struggling right now; can you stay on the phone for 20 minutes?” Therapist request – “I’m experiencing increased suicidal thoughts and need an appointment within five days.” If you’re wondering what to say first, write two short sentences summarizing current feelings and one concrete need (stay, come over, call back) – treat that as your mini essay to hand to anyone who asks.

Logistics: keep the map in three places – phone contacts, a printed card in your wallet to hand to responders, and a cloud doc shared with one trusted person. Set calendar reminders for regular check-ins (daily when acute, weekly otherwise). Designate a backup if a primary contact is unavailable; if theyre not reachable after three attempts, move to your next priority. Limit broader disclosure; share specifics only with people who understand confidentiality and care.

Monitoring and adjustment: define measurable triggers (sleep <4 hours, withdrawal>48 hours, suicidal talk) and increase contact frequency when thresholds are crossed. Note media influences: famous narratives often show tragic turns and later beauty, which can feel profound but are not a reliable template for your path; although such stories help some, theyre similar to anecdotes – track which stories amplify your distress and change exposure accordingly. Keep the map updated after any major event and when overcoming a pattern requires further professional support.