Irina Zhuravleva

Even rats become obsessed when rewards and care are repeatedly mixed with cruelty and isolation, so it’s not surprising that people raised with trauma often...

Today my aim is to transform how you handle conflict in your close relationships. We’re not talking about “punching” fights away — rather, we’re going...

Nothing scrambles your mind or wounds you more than trying to maintain any kind of relationship with someone who behaves narcissistically — the gaslighting, the...

Nearly everyone who reaches out here to the Crappy Childhood Fairy describes having been invisible or misunderstood by their caregivers. Whether through neglect, substance use,...

Growing up with trauma affects each person differently, yet the patterns of symptoms that can surface later in life are strikingly similar for many of...

One night I was called into the hospital and found a man suffering a massive heart attack. We fought to save him for a long...

All right — the aim here is to help resolve the conflicts that are eroding your relationship. It may sound ambitious, but this is worth...

My fear of being left in the future led me to abandon my own needs in the here and now. I constantly put everyone else...

All right — here’s a very simple way to approach relationship advice: ask yourself one question. Do you feel stuck? Does it seem like no...

If the word “space” keeps popping up in your relationships, this material is aimed at you. What people commonly lump together as avoidant attachment is...

Believe me from hard-won experience: destroying a marriage is almost always much easier than rebuilding one. It takes far less effort to let a relationship...

A few days ago a post explored how shutting down or stonewalling during an argument can leave a partner feeling unheard, isolated, and even abandoned,...

About 30% of couples — whether dating or married — report experiencing some form of infidelity, and that number only reflects what’s been disclosed. After...

I keep thinking there ought to be a simple checklist to tell you if the person you’re dating is a narcissist — that would be...

Are there other people-pleasers out there who recognize this pattern — where you can’t bring up feeling alone or neglected on the good days because...

Growing up in an environment marked by emotional neglect or cruelty trains your nervous system to respond by withdrawing. You stop crying. You stop protesting....

Why do avoidant partners act with contempt toward you? That question doesn’t just float through your mind — it lands hard in your chest because...

Have you ever stared at someone you adore and felt like your words were dissolving into emptiness? You reach for any sign of intimacy, any...

I think we waste too much energy trying to label our partner as a narcissist instead of simply acknowledging that certain behaviors are unacceptable. Ultimately,...

Have you ever noticed that sudden, hard-to-name change? One minute the atmosphere between you feels warm and alive — real connection, tangible possibility. You feel...

They vanished without a word three months ago — no farewell, no explanation, just silence. Then, in the small hours last night, at 2:08 a.m.,...

Have you ever watched an avoidant partner disappear the moment things start to deepen, only to reappear weeks or months later as if nothing happened?...

“Marriages die in the conversations that never happen” — that line, attributed to Dr. John Gutman who has examined thousands of couples, sums up a...

If you find yourself wondering, “Is this relationship worth salvaging?” it usually means you’re stuck in one of three painful scenarios. First, you may be...