Irina Zhuravleva

Tell me if this sounds like you. You grew up in a dysfunctional home. To survive, you built your whole identity around the qualities others...

I didn’t realize for a long time that I was trapped in a toxic partnership. Looking back, I couldn’t tell which warning signs deserved my...

Anger is an instinctive emotion; it exists to prompt action when you face danger, humiliation, or injustice. It motivates you to resist, to speak up,...

What Kelly is trying to convey, as I understand it, is that she needs more affection from you that isn’t sexual. I’m sorry — did...

How can someone know if an avoidant person actually feels regret about losing them when no words are spoken? Pause on that — it’s the...

Why does she appear to get on my nerves even more when I have to wrap up work at home? For instance, I might be...

You follow every piece of advice you’re given—go to therapy, practice breathing, stay optimistic, exercise, repeat affirmations, be gentle with others, grieve, honor your feelings—yet...

Have you ever paused to ask what finally makes someone with avoidant tendencies stop running? Like, what moment pushes them to confront themselves, do the...

We triple-dare you to bring up these questions the next time an argument erupts. Are you seriously that upset? I’m fired up, man — there’s...

Okay — imagine you bring up something that matters to you in a calm, respectful way, but your partner still reacts as if you’ve attacked...

I’ve been flooded with messages from people who feel deceived by their partners — in the beginning their significant other was charismatic, affectionate and seemingly...

When we discuss trauma, we often concentrate on the outward expressions — the outbursts, the acting out — but there’s another way trauma steers your...

What ultimately undoes an anxious–avoidant pair is rarely a deficit of affection. Both people would probably insist they care deeply for one another. The real...

There is a nearly universal, powerful trigger for symptoms of childhood PTSD — and chances are you experience it. Many people do, not only those...

A people-pleaser is someone who suppresses their genuine reactions during interactions, abandoning their own choices about what to do, what to say, and who to...

From reading hundreds of letters sent by people who follow this channel, certain patterns emerge. One particularly worrying indicator that someone is deteriorating in an...

Sometimes silence speaks louder than any shout. It does not scream, chase, or beg; it simply exists. Yet everything can shift when someone who habitually...

People often remain in harmful relationships because the mistreatment is not constant. In trauma bonds especially, a pattern of unpredictable kindness and cruelty conditions the...

That sickening twist in your stomach when someone you love — someone you’ve been pouring effort into — suddenly acts as though you don’t matter:...

If you have feelings for someone but keep them hidden because you know they aren’t really available, pretending it’s “just friendship,” don’t be astonished when...

When an entire family turns on one of its members, it is a profoundly harmful form of abuse. Sometimes this takes the shape of scapegoating,...

If you grew up with trauma, you already know how past experiences can resurface and set off thoughts, reactions and habits that undermine your performance...

Love itself doesn’t cause pain. People who haven’t learned how to love do. Sit with that for a second. If you have ever been in...

Listen: I can’t fix a relationship unless both partners agree to a shared set of principles and values. If even one person refuses to live...